You Attract What You Think About!

Simple, real, everyday examples that demonstrate how your thoughts create everything in your life; year to year, day to day, moment to moment...



And the mind-bogglingly true, real-life, personal examples of how,


when you change what you think,

your life presents you with everything you have always wanted.



Sunday, July 3, 2016

Stop Noticing the Absence of Something You Want

I had a recent question from a reader about how to manifest a partner.
She said she felt lonely and that all the good guys are taken and what can she do to find him?

The answer is stop thinking about the absence of him.

Here is why:  You create your own reality because the universe delivers what you think about.
Everything is energy, including your thoughts. You are broadcasting a signal, positive or negative, in every waking moment.
It's the same for every subject, whether it's a mate or money or health or whatever.  If you're thinking, "Where is it?", "Why does she get a mate and I don't?", "What's wrong with me?", "I need this.", "When do I get to be happy?" ....  You are projecting a signal that delivers more of the same: ABSENCE of what you want.

I wrote a post on this blog years ago entitled 'Looking for Deer.'  I had been eager to see deer on my hikes, and for 2 years I saw not a single deer.  Once I realized I was creating my reality of the absence of deer....  Because all I could think was, "No deer here",  "Nope I don't see one yet."  After a while I got tired of feeling bad about not seeing them.  So I GAVE UP.
I decided my hikes were enjoyable just as they were.  I decided to shift my perspective and instead of focusing on what I didn't like, I decided to look for things to appreciate and drop the subject of deer.
I liked the way it felt to move my body and feel my efficient muscles.  I like the weather and the flowers and the birds and after only a few minutes of this, I found that I was getting high on appreciation.  It didn't MATTER that there were no deer.  I was feeling incredible.
The very next day, 4 deer met me on the trail.  For a long time they stayed so close I could see their eyelashes.  I was swept with the feeling of incredible power that I created this situation.  But it was because I had been feeling high and powerful YESTERDAY.  I had changed my vibrational signal.
From then on for several more years I had close encounters with deer every single day.  But everything else changed too...

I've manifested hundreds and hundreds of things, big and small, in this very way.  Children, a job in Italy, money, adventures, friends, a glass of wine, a chef to cook for me, lovers, mates, horses, luxury, stunning places to live, cars...  But mostly I've created ease and tranquility and more things to appreciate.

The universe knows exactly what you want.  You've chosen them very specifically over years of sorting through what you like and what you don't like.  Your only job now is to relax and enjoy as much of NOW as you can muster.  Then you will be astonished at what, or who, shows up.


Friday, May 17, 2013

Decisions

Make NO decisions while in a bad mood.
What constitutes a bad mood?

Frustrated, irritated, upset, "right," mad, vengeful, disappointed, discouraged, sad, wronged, guilty, embarrassed, bored, overwhelmed, anxious, uneasy, afraid, unsure, indecisive, self-critical, judgmental, defensive, regretful, angry...
There are more, but that covers most.

All of these emotions provide a skewed point of view, so no decision can be relevant.

A 'skewed point of view,' means;
wildly inaccurate, one-sided, gathering of proof of a belief (which can always be done, no matter what the belief).

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Thought of The Day: "You are Hereby Released..."

Tell your spouse and your children, "You're not responsible for making me feel better. That's my job."

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Thought of the Day: Thoughts = Mood

How you feel is only a response to what you are currently thinking.
Change what you are thinking, change how you feel.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Thought of the Day, Making a Choice

You don't need any person or any condition to change
before you can feel better.  Feeling better is a decision.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Brilliant Kid

Two days ago, Paris (age 11) climbed into the car after school and immediately started hitting Ian (age 10).
I ignored it, seeing that Ian wasn't actually getting hurt, and also seeing that Ian was a willing participant in the brawl.
After he calmed down a little, I tried to tell Paris about handling anger, but he was in no mood to hear it then.
Paris then stuck his head out the window of the car, and by the time we got home, he was commenting on the beauty of the neighborhood trees. (He had made himself feel better by distracting himself)

I knew he had been struggling with his teacher recently, and had manifested a nearly incapacitating sore neck.

The next morning, when he was in a great mood, I said, "Remember a few years ago, when I showed you the Emotional Scale?  Like a radio dial, you have to go through some other channels to get to the one you want?"
"Yes, I remember."
"When you're feeling really angry and you want to hit someone, it usually means that, right before then, you were feeling sad.  And angry feels way better than sad.  That's why you want to hit someone.  A better idea would be to plan revenge in your mind, but don't actually do anything about it.  It will make you feel better.  Then after a while, you'll want to feel better still, so feelings of frustration or irritation will be the next step.  Then it's an easy jump to happier feelings."

Last night, he wrote a poem that was an assignment.  It had to include these phrases:
"A spoonful of sorrow"
"A touch of delight" and
"A journey of hardship"

Here's what he wrote:
One's emotions are balanced
They exist on a scale
If one is happy, it's balanced
If one feels otherwise, it tips.
Some may teeter back and forth.
A spoonful of sorrow
can send one out of balance.
If one can keep balanced,
one is at peace with Earth.
One's mood is contagious, too
A touch of delight can spread like wildfire.
One has power to balance this.
Some have trouble finding this.
A journey of hardship,
Some might call it.
It's okay to totter a little
It's healthy to let out
Emotion from time to time
One must be balanced
on the teeter-totter of emotion.

He was very happy with that poem.  This morning, he said, "I hope my teacher likes it as much as you and I do."
I said, "It's not very likely.  He may not get it.  That doesn't matter."  Paris agreed.

This afternoon, he said his teacher would like him to make it 1/4 page longer.

Then Paris told me something that made me so proud.

He said that last night, before he wrote the poem, he had had a conversation with his stuffed animals.
He told them how angry he was at the teacher for not appreciating his work. (in general)
He said they (he and the stuffed animals) even had a conversation about slavery, and about how the slave owners had tried to make the slaves feel bad about themselves in order to get them to work.  He said he felt like his teacher was a slave-owner.

He said that earlier that day, his teacher had assumed he had already begun the poem, and that he, Paris, had felt guilty that he hadn't.

I asked him whether the conversation with his animals had made him feel better, and he said, "Yes, it did!"
And, by the way, his very sore neck was no longer sore.

I pulled out a copy of the Emotional Scale, which is a linear, graded list of emotions encompassing the best feelings at the top of the scale, to the worst feelings at the bottom of the scale.  (there's a copy on the blog:  marla-livingthelawofattraction.blogspot.com).
I said, "Look, 'guilt' is at the very bottom, and the only way up is through 'anger'.  And that's what you did!  By yourself!""
He pointed at the scale and said, "Yes!  After 'rage' was 'blame'.  YES!  Then was 'hopefulness'!  And 'appreciation'!  I felt appreciation for my animals."

This afternoon I said to him that he's learning so much more from a teacher who doesn't get it than from one who does, because it forces him to deal with it and gain so much more self esteem (rather than teacher esteem).  He said, "Yes!"

What does this have to do with Law of Attraction?
The law of attraction means that you (you, me, everyone) create your own reality.
When you desire something, and you don't doubt that it can be, it becomes your reality.
I want my kids to thrive.  I specifically want them to be fulfilled in themselves.  I want them to know they can feel good about themselves, regardless of anyone else's opinion.  I want them to know how to maintain their ability to know their own well-being.  I want them to feel free to be different, to be pioneers, to feel free of fear, to feel free of judgment, to feel able to feel joy regardless of circumstances. 
This freedom is the utmost in security.  You can call it faith.

This is what I want to see in my children (and in myself and my husband), and this is what I see.  This is my reality.


Monday, May 28, 2012

Intrinsic vs. Earned Worthiness

Recently I've become aware of the difference between intrinsic worthiness, that which you were born with, and earned worthiness, that which is endlessly sought.

In the past, I've done several examinations into my own sense of worthiness, and I have always convinced myself of my sure footing.
But when I looked at it from an understanding of intrinsic worthiness, I realized I didn't have it; what I have is entirely based on what I've done, what I've earned, what I look like, what I've accomplished, how people respond to me.

In the last few years, I've learned how to be a master of manifesting what I want by how I feel and what I think.
Yet, still, the measurement of 'worthiness' is still often based upon what I manifest.

Fascinatingly, the times I feel most wholly well and perfect and happy are the times I'm focusing with appreciation on someone or something else. Which makes perfect sense. You can't appreciate someone else without letting go of your own thoughts of limitation. And thoughts of limitation amount to the fact that you're measuring yourself.

How interesting. Stop measuring yourself? What is there to measure?

What would happen if you made your intrinsic self-worth more important than your social worth?
How?
When you see a baby, do you believe it is worthy?  Most likely you see it as perfect and pure and deserving of all the love in the world. 
Can you see yourself the same way?
You would be a very happy person.




Saturday, May 5, 2012

Worthiness and Expectation

Those two words, Worthiness and Expectation, are key components to how your life unfolds.

If you believe it matters what other people think of you, you have an unstable sense of worthiness.

If you feel good or bad according to what you've accomplished lately, you have an unstable sense of worthiness.

If you believe someone else has control over how you feel, you have an unstable sense of worthiness.

If you dislike those who are really rich, particularly those who don't work very hard but have lots of money, you have an unstable sense of worthiness.

If you believe your looks or your weight or your hairline or your bank balance or your job title or your education create a limit to your value (or your income), you have an unstable sense of worthiness.

What if you were to set all these factors aside? What if, for argument's sake, you were to believe 'worth' is something you're born with, and that comparisons of yourself to others are irrelevant?

Wouldn't that take 'worthiness' off the table?

Let's assume you agree with all of that.
And let's assume you were to remind yourself of your stable worthiness several times a day.
That means you would stop berating yourself, and you'd stop looking at people's faces to see how they feel about you(cuz they're just grumpy and it has nothing to do with you), and you'd stop second-guessing your decisions, and you'd spend some time appreciating things around you...

Your life would change dramatically for the better.

The other word is Expectation.
You tend to expect what has happened before.
But you get what you expect. (Law of Attraction is unerring that way)

How can you get a better outcome?

By using the focus of your mind to decide to expect what you want, not what you've been getting.

How do you do that?

Spend more time imagining what you want and less time noticing what you have and the outcome must change.
(That means no more thinking about, talking about, remembering, worrying about, complaining about... things you don't like)

How do I stop noticing the way things are, which are not so good?

Make peace with it.
Find a way to say, "I can live with this right now. It is what it is. It's temporary, and it's not so bad. I can even notice the good points about it."

Once you stop pushing against what you don't want, what you do want must come. You may not believe me. That's okay. You'll see.

Expectation is very powerful.

If you expect something will be hard, it will be hard.
When you expect your mate will act a certain way, he will.
When you expect money only comes from hard work, that's the only way it comes.

When you expect abundance to flow to you, because this is an abundant world (and abundance has nothing to do with 'worthiness'), money, and free time, and a variety of exciting jobs, and experiences, and supplies, and loving relationships present themselves to you like a buffet for you to choose from.

When you expect things to be easy, they are.

When you expect people to be kind and friendly and interesting and enlightening, they are.

When you expect great ideas to come to you, you stop trying to look for them and just let them come to you.

When you expect your kids to be amazing, they are.

When you expect your body to recover from any illness on the planet, it does.

Expectation contains eagerness and faith in well-being and enthusiasm and confidence---- and worthiness.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

The Love Game with Kids

I have started playing a new game in the car with the boys on the way to school. I call it The Love Game.

This morning, I started it by saying, "I love the color of that car in front of us." They all agreed it was a great color. Then I said, "I love that they've almost finished the 'Holey Moley' (road construction that includes a very big hole), I love that you guys got ready for school so quickly this morning. Paris' bath was the most efficient ever!"
I was going to continue on my roll, but Dane broke in to start his, "That was a quick bath! I love my mom and dad and I love my brothers, and I love the rats, and I love playing board games with Bebby, and I love building legos..."

Ian broke in and said, "I love any board games and I love legos and I love that we're getting to school so early and I love that Sylvia doesn't even want me to put her down, and I love that I have 5 dollars in my wallet..." Paris looked up from his doing homework in the back of the car and said, "I love you, Mom."

This is a game I've played by myself for quite a while. So much so that it's become a pretty intoxicating habit. It just occured to me to play with the boys, and they love it! After just a minute or two of either listening to someone else's list, or making their own, they all become so happy and eager for a wonderful day. Ahhh! Me too.

Friday, January 27, 2012

The Groove in The Brain

The Groove in the Brain

Our new rat made me think of this post.
We have two new rats. One is very outgoing and the other seems very fearful.
I noticed that the fearful one gets "stuck" in a state of fearfulness. She huddles in a corner for indefinite periods of time.
It occured to me that her brain may be stuck, so I took her out of the cage. When I did that, it jogged her out of her trance and she became a different rat. She became curious and friendly. Now, when she's taken out of the "stuck" corner and she's allowed to climb back into her cage on her own, she immediately wants to get back out to snuggle and explore some more. She had developed a groove in her brain that told her that she should be afraid.

Everyone has a set-point, or a habit of thought on a particular subject. On the positive side, the set-point may be Eagerness or Appreciation, or, on the negative side, Frustration or Irritation, or Overwhelmed or Worried or Fearful or Guilty or Sad, etc.….

Every single time the subject is noticed, the brain goes to its set-point.
Then, thoughts are generated by the brain which match that set-point, so the feelings are sustained until the thinker decides to change his mind.

It’s as if there is a groove worn in the brain and when a subject comes up, the thoughts skip immediately to that groove.
The brain is very creative in that it will search for a reason to justify the feeling.
Then the thinker believes the issue is what is making him feel bad, when in fact it’s feeling bad that is making him feel bad.

The thoughts you think, the groove you have worn in your brain, attract more circumstances that feel the same. It’s as if you have no control over what happens. But you do.
Your control is not in controlling circumstances, your control is in how you chronically think.

Set-points are changeable! Merely focusing your thoughts on purpose toward feeling better whenever you notice you are not feeling good, changes your set point.

For instance, let’s say lately that whenever you think of money, you feel an immediate sense of worry and your mind goes to thoughts about things you do not want to happen.

That tells you that the groove you have worn in your brain is that of Worry (or Fear or Dread.) Your mind immediately dials into that groove and you are drawn to thoughts that illustrate all kinds of scenarios you think you need to prevent or defend against.

Staying on the groove of Worry will not feel good and it will simply attract more events to worry about.

Your power is in changing the groove. There is no value in planning for the worst.

Think a thought that makes you feel better. Often the thought that feels better is a more general thought about money, but it needs to stay on the subject of money in order to change your set point.

For instance, “I’m okay right now. This bill doesn’t have to be paid right now. I feel a change coming, and this will mean nothing tomorrow.”
Once you say something to yourself that makes you feel better and you acknowledge that you feel better, you put the choice of your set-point in your own hands.
The set-point will not fall back to its previous point.

And when you know you can change the way you feel, your power is restored and your life will begin to show you a different result.
Do it again and again each time you notice a strong negative feeling about any subject.

Change your mind about it. And your life will show you the change.

We used physical means to snap the rat out of her groove, but outside that fearful groove her life is bountiful.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Emotion/Manifestation= Cause/Effect

In answer to a question about my experiences with contrast and negative emotion.
First I'll explain my view:
'Contrast' is any and every situation you encounter which causes a negative emotional response and the consequent (most often subconscious) 'asking' for improvement.
This very exposure to 'contrast' results in your expansion because in the moment you encounter it, you subconsciously 'ask' for the opposite.  Source energy immediately becomes the vibrational equivalent of the asking.  It is done. This is the expansion of you and the expansion of the universe.

And as a forward to this writing regarding these personal experiences, I'll define this:
'Unworthiness' is a socially-reinforced belief that's the root of many "problems."   I put quotes around 'problems' because the 'problem' that triggers the emotion is simply an exaggeration of a negative emotion (belief) that exists within you to begin with.
Feel unworthy (guilty, powerless, self-critical, depressed, sad) and the world will show you an excuse to feel unworthy.
In the beginning of my study of law of attraction, adjusting to believing in the truth of my own and everyone's intrinsic 'worthiness' was for me, easy and rapid and dramatic at first.  It seemed so right.

It then became a continual, gradual shedding of more, smaller and smaller, increasingly subtle remnants of the insidious, bogus belief in the need to earn value, the belief in the need for comparison to others, the belief in hourly pay and contribution as measurement of worth, and the belief in others' opinions.  For starters.

I'll give a small selection of examples of both positive and negative emotions followed by their manifestations in a cause/effect format:

These are prior to my awareness of law of attraction:
Painful breakup/Became fed up with feeling bad/Constant Appreciation of my single life/Perfect mate showed up

Miscarriages/Made peace with having no more kids/Immediate pregnancy and daydream for twins

Made peace with one kid/Pregnant with twins

Unchecked Fear of not enough money to run businesses/Money ran out, Folded businesses

Night terrors/Acupuncture and visualization exercise that opened my mind to intentional joy/Cessation of night terrors

These are following my understanding of law of attraction:
Powerlessness over my kid/Change in my thoughts about him/Unconditional love for and from him/Complete change in his behavior

Eagerness and Appreciation for law of attraction/Constant stream of new books appear that teach and thrill me

Unchecked self consciousness about qualifications (worthiness) to give seminars/Chronic cough that made me feel more self-conscious

Belief in the well being of people/Counseling sessions/Astonishing results

Appreciation of pictures of hawks/Hawk encounters/Massive appreciation/Hawks following me

Unchecked thoughts of self consciousness and embarrassment about loss of business/Weight gain that felt more self conscious and embarrassing

Belief in the possibility of seeing deer for the first time in years/Next day close encounter with deer/Massive appreciation for deer encounter/Deer interactions every single day

Confusion about things/Made peace with not knowing/Answers come while hiking and cleaning house

Desire and Belief in the ability to communicate with transitioned people/Made peace with not being able to do that/Brother appeared and had a conversation with me the morning he died (and several since)

Unchecked Fear of possible heartache/Cracked sternum/Release of control of others' behavior, release of others' responsibility for my emotions, release of the concept of 'dread,' (which is worry about something that hasn't happened)/Freedom, Unconditional Love/Exponentially better relationship

Desire to write a book/Made peace with no book contract/Delight in writing blog/Commission to write a book.

 What I had been living prior to understanding directing my thoughts had relied not only on the need for others' approval, but need for others' repeated, positive feedback (because 'value' and 'deservedness' were transitory)!

I've now been asked to explain the process that occurs when I encounter contrast, feel negative emotion, and address it in order to feel better (and therefore raise my vibrational stance on that subject).

In this example, I felt angry.
Feeling anger almost always means I have hit the bottom of the scale in some sense of powerlessness with a thought about something that has just happened. And then in the blink of another thought, I automatically reached for something better; anger.

In this example, the 'contrast' was simply that Brad had asked me to do a favor for him, ie wake up early and take kids to school (on 2 hrs of sleep).
#1  I could agree to do it out of obligation (out of the vortex),
#2  I could say no and feel guilty (out of the vortex).
#3  An in-the vortex solution I can't think of right now...

I felt a flash of anger and enjoyed the feeling of it for a little while.  (The feeling of Being Right, feeling righteous, a momentary sense of power)
I then recognized the purpose of my anger: (to pull myself out of powerlessness on the subject), then isolated the thought that triggered the powerless feeling, "No matter what I do in this situation I will feel bad"

The 'problem' is meaningless except for the value it gives me in recognizing a belief, thought, vibration, that is not serving me.
By the way, I chose (not given earlier because not available out of the vortex, but fully apparent in the vortex)
Option #3, Feel good about the idea of taking them to school and then take them to school.
Then I went on a hike and did a focus wheel that started with: "I don't deserve my unlimited freedom if you (Brad) don't have it too."
It ended with, "You (Brad) are just as free as I am and there is no question of our worthiness to enjoy it"

Monday, January 16, 2012

Couples

I've been absent from the blog for several weeks while writing a book, and then another book.
I'll talk more about how perfect this book manifestation has been in my life, but for now, I have a subject that intrigues me that I'd like to share with you.

Kim Kardashian!
No, I'm not really kidding, because I always look at people through the lens of Law of Attraction, and this a great example to share, along with an excerpt from my counseling study guide about couples.

I watch the Kardashian's show (purely from a law of attraction-educational point of view, I assure you).
You may know from reading about law of attraction that if you ignore a negative emotion it will get bigger.

Earlier this summer, the show followed Kim's sudden and dramatic outbreak of psoriasis.  The psoriasis made her feel very embarrassed because she had to do a commercial in a bathing suit the next day.  She managed to get the rash covered with body makeup, but she didn't do anything about feeling better...

What she didn't realize is that she had been feeling embarrassed periodically over many things, but had ignored the feeling.

Fast forward to her Enormous Wedding followed by her Divorce 72 days later.
The entire arc of the marriage was filmed on her show.  She didn't feel good about herself and thought it was his fault.  When she decided she had made a mistake in getting married, she was mortified.  Embarrassed to the tenth power. 
She began to treat people badly, because anger feels better than embarrassment...

Here's an excerpt from the book  (meant for counselors)

Couples come to therapy because they believe the dynamic of their relationship is making them unhappy. 
Often they believe they need a third party to convince their partner that he/she needs to change.

They are struggling in some stressful situation and looking to each other for comfort, but neither is able to give it, so they blame each other.

The first step in establishing a paradigm shift in the couple is to say to each of them, “You are not responsible for your partner’s happiness.”  And
“Your partner is not responsible for your happiness.”

And as in all situations, the circumstance is not making you unhappy, your thoughts are making you unhappy.

When you ask someone else to behave in a way that will make you feel better, or when you say I cannot feel better until this problem is solved, that is the definition of conditional love.  You are saying, “I cannot love (be happy, be who I really am: a loving, whole, inspired, inspiring person) unless this condition changes.”

What if each partner was responsible for his/her own happiness?  If they truly assert their own power to make themselves happy, each partner would be with a happy person.  How would that partnership feel? 
What does it feel like to be in the presence of a happy person?  It feels joyous.  It feels fun and funny and spontaneous.  It feels real and free and powerful and tremendously loving.

What does it mean to make yourself happy within a relationship?
The word “selfish” comes up (from people who don’t know what it really means).
What does ‘selfish’ mean?  It means being fully your self.  Life is only experienced through self.

What are the wishes of each person within the relationship?  They were drawn together because they will mutually benefit each other and are a match in many ways.
Do they desire the same type of relationship?  Do they both desire monogamy?  Do they each desire children or not?  Do they desire a domestic life or an adventurous life? 

Let’s discuss the concept of seeking others’ approval.
Our society teaches a sort of value-by-approval system.  Early on, parents approve of behaviors and exhibit love and approval when we behave in a certain way, ie, when we do something that makes the parent feel good. It feels good to get their approval.  It feels bad to lose it. Conditional love.
We are then taught a grading system in school, which rates our behavior and our ability to perform according to our age and in comparison to others.  It feels good to get an A it feels bad to get a D.
We’re taught to compete and compare with one another for approval.
We’re taught that we can’t win the mate we want unless we look good enough or make enough money or have that ‘thing’ that gives us the upper hand over others.
We’re told we can’t compete in the job market unless we work hard and outperform others.  And people who make more money are respected more and have more power than people who make less. 
This societal training replaces our own natural inner sense of well-being and goodness and perfection with that of a fickle, transitory, endless, false seeking of others’ approval.

This is contrary to what we were born knowing; We were born as a perfect, whole, worthy expression of (source energy) God.  The idea of ‘earning’ value and love and well-being is a complete fallacy and illusion.

Within a couple, if you think you need to hold the approval of your mate in order to feel good you will be repeatedly disappointed with him and/or with yourself.

Think of the implications; you feel good when someone is gazing upon you with love.
You feel loved and deserving of that love.  This is especially apparent when you are ‘falling in love.’
What happens when his gaze is focused on work or other people in his life?  Or what happens when he is in a bad mood while focused upon you?
Are you no longer loved?  Are you no longer deserving of love?  Is he no longer holding up his end of the bargain? What’s wrong with him?
What’s wrong with you that he’s no longer focusing on you with adoration?

He cannot feel love while feeling frustrated or overwhelmed or guilty or powerless…  It has nothing to do with you!

The very idea of feeling good being reliant upon others’ behavior is doomed to heartache.  It’s a powerless, unnatural, painful state of being.

Freedom is the most important, most natural state for any individual.  Freedom is a sense of self-empowerment.
Let’s look at the perception of lack of freedom with in a relationship.  When someone feels trapped they seek freedom because they know freedom is their natural state of being.  A ‘trapped’ person confuses physical freedom with emotional freedom.

Real freedom is freedom of thought.  Freedom is feeling free to feel good no matter what.  Freedom is acting upon inspiration not motivation (taking action while feeling good, not taking action in order to feel good.)   Freedom is feeling responsible for one’s own emotions and not another’s.  Freedom is the antithesis of obligation.  Freedom is the ability to love unconditionally.   Freedom is belief in one’s own and in others’ unique, perfect path and the trust in well-being.

If this couple has decided they have desires which are in concert with one another, and that they value each other’s own responsibility for happiness, their partnership will thrive.

How do each of them “assert their own power to make themselves happy”?

1. Focus daily, hourly, moment-to-moment on feeling good by focusing on things to appreciate and by stopping negative thought.

2. When feeling bad, focus on thoughts that feel better.

3. Release your partner’s responsibility for your happiness.

4. Trust and respect your partner’s path and know that their experience is their own and does not have anything to do with your well-being.

5. Trust in your own well-being.

6. Release all impulses to control anything about your partner.

7. Makes lists of things you appreciate about your partner often.

8. Relish those moments when you both come together feeling wonderful.  Remember those moments.  Recall them throughout the day. 

9. Intend to have conversations only when feeling good.  Excuse yourself from any conversation in which you don’t feel good. Say, “I need some time to feel better (or get back to myself or back in the vortex, or back to God, or whatever sounds right to you)

10. Do things for one another out of inspiration, not motivation. (inspiration comes from within, motivation from without)
Never agree to do something for your partner in order to please her (and gain approval for you).  Say, ‘let me think about your request’; make yourself feel good; then consider the request. 
If you want to do it out of love and inspiration, do it.  If you don’t want to do it, lovingly decline.
  
In therapy, sometimes one member of the couple seems more open to suggestion, more willing to change.  Lead him or her in feeling good and the other will likely follow.
Feeling good is contagious.
  
If one or both of them are feeling angry (or vengeful), a one-on-one session is called for.
(refer to the Emotional Scale)

Anger is almost always an indication that the client has been feeling powerless.
The impulse to feel anger or rage or revenge is a natural movement toward feeling better.  Anger has energy, where powerlessness has none.  Anger (rage or revenge blame or even jealously) feels much better than guilt or grief or sadness or victim hood (powerlessness).
Powerlessness feels so bad because it is as far as one can get from his connection to his true self.

The goal when counseling a powerless-feeling person through anger and beyond, (ultimately to appreciation and love and empowerment), is to emphasize that this is a process of energy and thought (and faith and trust) within one’s self, and never one of action.

In couple’s therapy, the likely target for anger is the partner, since this is the issue that is most current. 
The partner need not know of any of the statements made.
If you can get the client to feel angry on purpose, and acknowledge that 1) he feels better, and 2) he felt better under his own power, this is the key to self-empowerment.

It doesn’t matter whether the statements of anger are justifiable or fair.  It only matters that the client feels a sense of relief.

A common scenario on the path toward feeling better: rage- revenge-anger- less anger…  Then blame.  Then disappointment.
These are simply statements made by the client which make him feel better. 

Have him make a statement and gauge how he feels.  If a statement doesn’t produce a feeling of relief, try another.  Once the feeling of relief is reached, have him make a few statements within that better-feeling place to solidify the feeling.

Everyone is different.  On the emotional scale you can see which emotions are better-feeling as you go up the scale.  It’s not possible to jump very far on the scale in one thought.  Have the client work his way up gradually.  The key is a feeling of relief.

After disappointment often comes frustration or impatience.  Statements of pessimism are often an illumination of possibility, if only for a moment.

Contentment is the key to “making peace with what is”.  Statements that reflect contentment acknowledge that things are not so bad and that there are good things about the relationship.  These are encouraging signs, which lead to hope and optimism and eagerness and ultimately, appreciation.

The ideal way to end a session that started with anger is to end with appreciation for the partner.

Feelings of appreciation and love are natural and life-giving and empowering.
_________________________________________________________________________

I'll keep following Kim's shows.  Yes, it's hard, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make in the name of research.  She may decide that this event was painful enough to warrant a look at the power of her own emotions  But if she doesn't, we'll likely see some more embarrassed/powerless manifestations.





Friday, December 9, 2011

Why Feel Better?

Why Feel Better?

To answer that, first ask: Why do people worry?

If you believe you must control circumstances in order to assure your well-being….
You must then believe your well-being is negotiable.  Unstable. Transitory. Conditional.

You must also believe there are random, unpredictable things to guard against,
Or you believe in scarcity and the concept of competing for limited resources,
Or you believe bad things may happen if you aren’t prepared.
Or you believe something bad will get worse,
Or you believe in the need for your constant effort to qualify,
Or you believe other people have control over your circumstances…

None of those things are real.  All of those thoughts are just thoughts which contradict your true nature and your true self.

You live in a state of constant diligence.  It’s as if you feel you can’t take your eyes off the road or you will crash.  Worrying is normal for you.  Worrying feels necessary.
Why would you make the effort to feel better if feeling better means taking your eyes off the road?

What if you were to believe that your well-being is assured?
What if you were to believe that your every request has been answered, but you have been unable to see them because your eyes have been on the road?

Worrying is the opposite of faith.

What would not worrying feel like?
Try it for a moment.
Try it again.
It feels very good, doesn’t it?
That’s who you really are.


Your Predictable Brain

Your brain has to do something.  It can't shut itself off.
(unless you do it on purpose during focused meditation, for instance.)

If you don't remind yourself to feel good, which is your natural state of being, this is what happens:

If left to its own devices, your brain is going to settle on thoughts which are familiar.
Also known as your set-point, when you notice something that doesn't feel good, there's a virtual groove carved in your brain that your brain skips to, as if on a record with a large groove.  Once settled into this groove, your thoughts don't vary from the theme. 
There are different set-points according to the subject at hand, but there may also be an overriding set-point about your life in general.
You then receive a steady stream of thoughts which justify the feeling.
What?  The thoughts justify the feeling, not the circumstance justifies the thoughts?

Ah hah!  The thoughts justify the feeling.  When you habitually skip to a thought of worry, for instance, your brain searches for reasons to back up this feeling.
In other words, the circumstance, or problem that has come to mind, has no current relevance other than to use as an excuse for feeling bad.
You remain on this train of thought until you get fed up with feeling bad and you accidentally pay attention to something that makes you feel better.
You feel better for a while, until something else catches your attention, triggers a negative thought, and off your brain goes to the negative groove.
This kind of life feels like an exhausting, powerless struggle.

Do you have a set-point of Worry?  Or Overwhelm?  Or Frustration?
The set-points may be diffferent for Work or Money or Relationships, etc.
A set-point of Worry attracts more things to you that make you worry.  A set-point of Frustration does the same.  A set-point of Overwhelm magnifies a feeling of scarcity and limitation.

Once you realize that the problems that seem to be making you feel bad are in fact the fuel your brain has chosen to feed a habit of thought...
You then become inspired to change the groove, or set-point.

Changing a set-point is easy.
1) Believe that feeling better will benefit you.  (see Why Feel Better?, coming next)
2) Focus on a troublesome thought, make yourself feel better about it, and your set-point, or groove, is changed.

You can create a positive groove; one of love and appreciation and eagerness and unlimitedness and creativity.  Keep raising your set-point on every subject that comes up and your life will be more joyous and exciting and enlivening and inspiring than you can imagine.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Unexpected, Perfect Manifestation

I've encountered a manifestation that blows my mind.
I've been wanting to teach the Law of Attraction, as I have been, but in a bigger way.
I've given seminars and classes and consulted one-on-one with a number of people.  All of those experiences were extremely satisfying, on a small scale.
I've also been on a continuous quest to know more through my experiences.

A couple of months ago I was contacted by a high school classmate (who really didn't know me) who had been reading my Facebook posts.  He just wanted to say how much he liked reading my status updates.  He also said he had read one of my blog posts which intrigued him enough to want to know more.

This classmate has a PhD in counseling and is a pastoral counselor for a hospital and works as a clinical psychologist seeing patients for couples therapy and grief counseling and job counseling and so on.  He acts as mentor for other counselors.

After some written exchanges and a phone call, he asked me to mentor him in his counseling practice and in his personal life.  This is as a result of my writings about, and our conversation about, the Law of Attraction.

The extent of the magnitude of this perfect manifestation for both of us is still becoming clear.

We have had many, many hours of communication by computer messaging and by phone conversations.
He has asked hundreds of questions which have stretched my ability to articulate the answers.  Yet they have come easily.
The joy that I get from these exchanges is so great, I literally feel shaky from the energy of the conversations.
Even though I'm giving the answers, I know more than I did before.
But what is extraordinary is the joy I get from his upliftment.  He is happier in his life.  His wife says that he is more energetic and happier.  He says that he is now a better counselor and a better mentor.

But the piece de resistance is that he is using his new counseling methods and getting instant results.
He is using these methods in his mentoring practice and getting renewed energy and optimism from the other counselors.
He asked me to write a counseling manual entitled 'A New Model for Counseling' which we just spent the last 11 hours writing together.

As a detail of amazement for me:  This man is Catholic, spent 3 years in seminary in preparation to become a priest (but decided to get married instead), and practices in the church.  I am and have always considered myself atheist (without religion).  The fact that our communications are so profound and so in agreement in a spiritual way has demolished my limited view of religion (and his limited view of non-religion).

I wanted an expanding, profound connection with someone (in addition to my husband!) who understood what I was saying.  I wanted a larger audience.  I wanted to learn more.  I wanted to be able to articulate the details in an easily understandable way.  I wanted to write a book.  All of these things have happened in a way I never expected in a million years.

I am so full of joy I can hardly stand it.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

A New Level!

I know how to direct thought, feel better, then receive manifestations of that new emotional set-point.  I've been practicing and fine-tuning my thoughts consciously for two years now, and my life is just astonishing and fantastic and getting better all the time.

Three days ago I realized that even though I've consistently been feeling good, I've now reached a new, even-better-feeling set point.  And what's especially great is that it's been happening naturally, with no focused effort on my part.  Because it's now my set-point, my brain goes there easily and often.

What I noticed is I'm so easily pleased and amused and delighted.  I find so many things so funny.  The wittiest things to say at just the right moments come out of my mouth.
Watching a college football game between two teams I care nothing about is engaging and hilarious.
My kids are suddenly even cuter.  Their friends seem more charming to me. 
I have so much energy.  My gut is so calm (even when I see something I don't want!)
I have impulses to play and converse and clean stuff and tell people I love them.  And to be still.  With no agenda.  And to pet my cat for as long as he wants it.

The manifestations of this new level are glaringly apparent.
The normally grumpy lady in the checkout lane is joking and laughing with me.
Each of my kids want to lie on the couch with me and look in my eyes and talk about funny things for a while. (These are 9 and 10-year-old boys who have other things to do!)

Everything is so easy.  The great parking spots, the green lights, the helpful clerks, the great idea, the timely phone call giving me the perfect book reference, the great music everywhere...
Everyone I run into is in a good mood and wants to play and joke. 
Answers come even more easily.

At several different points during the last few days, my husband and I have been hanging out together, talking or not talking about nothing in particular for hours... while at the same time acknowledging the significance of how good it feels to actually live in the moment with each other.

The newness of this was not lost on us.  We, like most people, have been task-oriented.  In the past, we've had many long conversations, but they were full of purpose and intensity and goals of communication to achieve.  Even a conversation seemed to have an agenda and a sense of entertainment or intelligence value.  And then if the goals of the conversation have been reached, it's on to the next task.

In contrast, this new level of easy joy has been reflected in our way of interacting with each other for the last few days.  (Yes, all your relationships meet you where you are).
Overused phrases, but apt here in describing our conversations:  Being in the moment, being fully present, appreciating everything on a constant, subconscious level, having no time constraints, and having nothing to prove left us feeling even more appreciative of each other and of ourselves.

I'm not saying I didn't pop out of the vortex here and there over these last few days. 
I did, in fact have a wonderful few moments of feeling angry, which I used as my topic of focus (to do a Focus Wheel exercise) during my latest hike.
BTW, feeling angry almost always means you're feeling powerless about something.  Which always means you're thinking there is some circumstance you think you need to control...

I had had some small, residual thoughts about my 'worthiness', ie; if a manifestation is not here yet, I must be doing something wrong. 
That thought was an old long-held belief that I had been fine-tuning to the point now where it very rarely comes up. 
The subject was so easily and thrillingly resolved.  No kidding, when you feel a strong emotion, the purposeful moving of the energy back up to joy is an exhilarating thing.

The revelation for me about this new level of happiness is that it really is an effortless, natural state of being.  It's everyone's natural state of being. 
That's why it's so uncomfortable to feel worried or frustrated or sad.  It's so completely contrary to your self.
It took some practice to focus thoughts toward feeling better, but it's a joyful practice that continues to get easier and easier and better and better.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

There's No Such Thing As Worthiness

What does it mean to feel worthy?  To feel deserving, as determined by others or by God.  To feel good about yourself.  To feel confident in who you are.  To feel good enough. To feel accomplished.

There is no such thing as worthiness because there is no such thing as unworthiness.
The very process of trying to achieve 'worthiness' is backward.
You were born 'worthy', and it cannot be lost, so the act of trying to achieve it leaves you looking forever.

We try to become worthy of love from others by what we do and what we say and how we look.
We try to become worthy of a pile of money by working hard or being nice to someone who has some, or by suffering so much someone will rescue us.
We try to be worthy of a particular job by working hard or earning a degree and being compared favorably over everyone else applying for the job.

What you want is not the attention from others or the job or the money.  What you want is the way you will feel when you have those things.  You think you will feel 'worthy'.  And you probably will for a minute.
What you really want is to feel free and happy and confident and loving and fun and joyous and excited and playful. 
When are in in that state, you love who you are.  You like your own company.  You see why others want to be with you.  The answers to all your questions appear in the minute you ask them.  You feel powerful.  You are powerful.  You feel love and appreciation for life and for yourself.

How do you achieve a state of love and appreciation for yourself?
Look around for things to love.
Become one who loves.
Appreciate anything and everything you can find.  And when you do, you find it everywhere.
Do it all day long. Practice!

In continuing to observe things to appreciate, you become that person who is 'worthy'.
In continuing to observe things to appreciate, you make a habit of being joyful. 
In your continued appreciation, you go from moments of love to a consistent state of love.
In a state of love, you are that person you want to be.
In a state of appreciation you are powerful.
In a state of love and appreciation you are living in joy. 

You will never again look for ways to qualify for the life you want.  You will never question your love for yourself again.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Joy At the Grocery Store

I went to the grocery store today feeling okay.
Not super-duper. Just okay.
I prefer super-duper.

I noticed a man being playful with his son. I watched them and appreciated them for a while.

I noticed products that I could buy that would be delicious for my lunch. I imagined myself enjoying that lunch.

I noticed things I could buy that my kids would enjoy.
That sent me into happy thoughts and images and remembered exchanges with my kids. I laughed out loud.
Definitely moving up from "okay".

I suddenly noticed the song playing on the audio system was one I really liked.
I started singing it to myself. Joy is very close.

Then a man said, "Nice dimples."
I hadn't realized I was smiling.
OOOOH, that feels good to connect on a happy level with someone else!
Better still.

I went to the checkout lane and found one empty. I pulled in, then danced back to the end of the lane to see if I wanted to add a magazine to the pile when I slipped on a grape.

I said loudly enough from the end of the conveyor belt for the cashier to hear, "There's a grape on the floor that I slipped on. I almost died."
The response was beautifully electric. The entire mass of people within earshot giggled, smiled, exchanged happy looks with one another.

I'm in the vortex and I just lured you all in too!
Joy, joy, joy!

The cashier called to the clean-up crew: "There's a grape on the floor and this lady slipped on it. She almost died."

Everyone laughed and watched as he cleaned it up so they could prolong the connection and the joke.

I left the grocery store in a state of joy and appreciation and love that stayed with me for the rest of the evening. My boys could feel it and they joined in my playfulness. The only way they knew how to express the contagious feeling was to hug me and tell me how much they love me.

Answer to a Reader's Question

How do you stay centered and focused when you are used to dwelling in an anxious or depressed or negative state...?"

You're asking about 'habit of thought'.
You created this habit out of beliefs.
A 'belief' is only a thought you keep thinking.

You believe it's necessary to have a plan of defence, to be prepared, to prevent being blind-sided... in order to avoid pain.
You believe pain is an inevitable result of misfortune or negative judgements of others, or payment for your shortcomings.
You also believe you must control circumstances.
You believe others' opinions determine your well-being.

Also, there is an insidiousness of this habit that is simply a lack of awareness of the ability to steer your own thoughts.
During the hours you're awake, you have to think about something!
Your brain is a focusing mechanism.
It's simply easy (lazy) to think about what you observe, rather than what you want to observe.

This constant state of distrust of well-being is only a habit borne of a lifetime of conditioning. Comparison to others, grades, income, conditional love, belief in 'worthiness'...

The good news is that this belief can be dropped forevermore.

And the simple step toward doing that is the belief that you must. And that you can. Easily.

Let's go back to the premise of the question.
You cannot STAY always in a joyous state, ever.
It is necessary to observe 'contrast' in order to form the new question. (and reason for your expansion)
In the observance of the unwanted situation you feel negative emotion.

The question then is: "How do you BECOME centered and focused (receptive of what you want instead).
Decide you want to. Decide it is the source of your connectedness to your well-being.. Decide it has nothing to do with the actions of others, the opinions of others, the existence of the unwanted circumstance.
Pay attention to how you feel.
If you feel 'not good', know that this train of thought is contrary to the solution.
Make a statement. to yourself about that subject that makes you feel better. Or drop the subject!
Once you feel better, you will see evidence of the Universe's (or God's) positive, perfect, life-giving response to your asking.
The goal will be that 90% of your daily life will be spent in love or apprecation or joy or interest or enthusiasm or fun or eagerness or contentment...with a feeling of ease and security and adventure and delight. 10% of your time will be spent in moments of attention toward the subjects you want to improve.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Circumstances

"My circumstances are dire.  I lost my job.  I don't know how I'm going to pay the bills.  I believe I cannot get a job that will make enough money unless I get an advanced education, and I don't have time and my education is costing me too much, and even if I get the education I still have to compete with all these other people for the job...

As focusing human beings, you came to this life (temporarily) to focus upon circumstances in order to create constant improvement, and for you to feel the joy of sailing from less to more by your thought alone.

Everything you encounter that you do not like is the launching point for something better.
When you encounter anything you don't like, you 'ask' consciously or subconsciously, for improvement.
In the moment you 'ask', the improvement is created.  That is the expansion of the universe and the expansion of you.

When you encounter: you create;
Not enough: plenty
Limitations: unlimitedness
A rude person: nicer interactions
A lack of resources: more resources
A lost job: a better job
A lost relationship: a better relationship
The passing of a loved one: understanding of eternity

Your ability to receive the created result is dependent upon your belief in the existence of the result.
The way to achieve belief in the existence of the result is to make yourself feel better.

It's not about doing things to improve the situation.  In fact, actions that you take while out of the vortex (while feeling overwhelmed or scared or worried, etc) are counterproductive.

You make yourself feel better by saying anything you can think of that gives you even the slightest sense of relief on that subject.

Another way to look at it:
The circumstance you are fretting about is actually past tense.
The current circumstance is a manifestation of past thought.  New manifestations will match new thought.

In time, you'll appreciate the energy, the challenge, the 'juice', the focus that unwanted circumstances provide you.  And as you manage your ever-increasing time in the vortex, you'll notice more and more circumstances to appreciate.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

How My Life Changed

I'll restate the background for newcomers, but the insights are new.
A couple of years ago, I had been having night terrors(nightmares)--dreams in which I was so certain of my very real and impending death that I ran out of the room in my sleep.
I went to an acupuncturist who directed me through a visualization exercise that sent me into a state of pure joy.
The shocking awareness that resulted was of the vast difference I felt between the feeling of Joy while lying on the table and of the Anxiety that I normally felt.
I didn't know I had been feeling anxious. I thought how I felt was normal. And I thought how I felt was completely dependent upon what was going on in my life.
But when I lay on the acupuncturist's table and felt joy from my thoughts, I knew I was on to something life-changing.

When I discovered the direct and powerful and instantaneous connection between what I think about and what I feel, I was astonished.
It also made sense in the context of Law of Attraction, which I had heard of (by the video, The Secret) and was intrigued by, but didn't yet understand.

Then books pertaining to the Law of Attraction began to fall in my lap.  Every time I went to a bookstore and was drawn to a book, or saw a book review, or was offered a book by someone, it always had Law of Attraction as its subject.  Even my husband, who was repelled by The Secret, felt compelled to buy a copy of The Alchemist for me.  He had no idea what it was about, but it was a fable about Law of Attraction.  He eventually loved the book, by the way.
I started to read everything, starting with the scientific basis of how this universal law worked.

I got more and more excited about it. I spent a lot of time reading and thinking about how the world may in fact be so much more than I can see, and about why it really is so precise and perfect and unerring and interconnected and flawless.
At that time I also began to have vivid dreams that demonstrated my new understanding.  The dreams felt thrilling.
The more I let go of the limited view I had grown up with, the more my life became what I had always wanted it to be.

I began the practice of making myself feel better.  All day, every day I would take note of how I was feeling and if I didn't feel good I would intentionally focus on anything I could think of that felt good.

I also began the practice of intentionally feeling better about a subject that was troubling me.  I loved the Abraham-hicks tool called the Focus Wheel, and used it daily on various subjects.

I gradually let go of the need for circumstances (or the behavior of people) to make me feel good. I learned that my thoughts were responsible for how I felt (and for the circumstances that then showed up, which had matched how I felt).

During this time, in 2008, I let my two businesses, one of which I had been operating for 23 years, fold.
I challenged myself with the task of feeling better about empoyees no longer having jobs (with me).
I challenged myself with the task of feeling better about my husband becoming the primary wage-earner.
I challenged myself with the task of not 'producing' anything.
I challenged myself with the task of letting go of clients' disappointment with my leaving them.
I challenged myself with not getting accolades.  (there really aren't any accolades for cleaning the house!)
I challenged myself with the idea that my investor in my second business lost hundreds of thousands of dollars.

I used every one of these topics, and many more, in Focus Wheel and Moving Up The Vibrational Scale exercises.  I genuinely reached a place of joy and appreciation on every single one of those challenging topics.

Consequently, I now have constant joy and love and abundance and freedom and experiences that I would not have had were it not for those challenges.

One interesting point of background to this story is that I had always been an atheist.
And I mean the literal sense of the word which is without religion, not against religion.

I grew up without religion.  I always thought that this is all there is.  What I can see and feel is it.  And when I die there is no more.
I believed there was randomness and luck and unfairness and limited resources and competition and a required course of hard work and struggle and correct mate choice and correct career choice and correct child rearing and daily re-earning of value...

When I understood what Law of Attraction really is, I saw that every single one of those beliefs were ridiculous.

It was a process of understanding, but once the ball got rolling, it was an exhilarating path of discovery.
But it wasn't just the thrill of reading words that felt right to me, it was that my life started acting the way the books said it would.
First, I felt so much better.  I had let go of the idea that worry was a useful thing. 

I began to focus on good-feeling thoughts on purpose.

I began feeling good more of the time (in contrast to the constant anxiety that I hadn't even been aware of before..)
Then things immediately began to happen that made me feel good. 

When I focused my thoughts on appreciating clients I had, more clients appeared who were easy to appreciate.

When I stopped focusing on empty bank accounts and focused on the abundance of ideas and abundance of love and abundance of freedom and abundance of produce in the grocery store, the bank accounts filled up again.

When I looked for things to appreciate about annoying people, they became wonderful to be around.

When I playfully expected smooth traffic, empty parking spots, exemplary service, happy conversations, animals on my hikes... they were always there.

I also began enjoying my own company.  I began to enjoy quiet, which I rarely had before.  I began to enjoy long hikes (which I used to hate) and cleaning house, (same).
I began to notice that there were qualities about people that I loved.  (I used to be very critical and picky about the people I would hang out with).  I noticed people seemed to be funnier.

I began to appreciate my children in new ways.  They suddenly began to act more loving.

I also noticed an extraordinary and amazing thing.  Whenever I had a question about anything, I could go for a hike or sit in a chair and suddenly know the answer.

Also, one morning I was lying awake in my bed when my brother appeared in my vision and started talking to me in German.   The language was something we had in common, and especially one word he used, 'erinerest', (remember) had been a word we had used with each other as teenagers (just because it's difficult to pronounce, but we both enjoyed that we could pronounce it). 
He was so exhilarated by the trasition he had just experienced, and he said that he had already gone to our favorite spot in Hawaii and he had also gone to where we had lived in Japan...
My mother called shortly thereafter to tell me he had died a couple of hours ago.

I knew that my new gift of joy had allowed me to communicate with my newly-transitioned exhuberant brother. (same channel!)

But regardless of the incredible, constant, miraculous manifestations I receive every single day, what I value most of all is the ability to feel good.

What is Trust?

What do we mean about having trust, or losing trust?

1) There's the trust you have in other people to behave in a way you want them to, or in the way they say they are going to.

2) There's trust in your own well-being, or trust in the environment around you.

3) There's the trust in your ability to handle an unwanted situation.

Let's look at each one separately.
1) Trust in other people is conditional love.

If you require someone else to behave in a particular way in order for you to feel good, that is conditional love. Conditional love says: under these conditions, I can feel loving toward you (and toward myself).
If you find yourself in this struggle, the emphasis you must take is that toward feeling love for yourself and toward appreciation for the motivations of others (which have nothing to do with you).
Everyone behaves in a way in which they believe will make them feel better.  They do so based on their own unique experiences and their own unique point of view and their own unique goals as human beings. 
How they behave has nothing to do with you. 
How they behave has nothing to do with your value.
How they behave has nothing to do with your well-being.


2)Trust in your own well-being or in your environment. Let's say you have had a traumatic event that has caused a perspective of fear about your vulnerability within your environment.

Your belief that there is a source of evil or a source of illness or a source of randomness creates a sense of vulnerability.
You have the belief that it's simply enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time to become victim to evil (in another person, or an illness, or a virus, or an accident...)

I spent a few years in a heightened sense of anxiety about rapists and car accidents and death and law suits and the weather and perceived 'value' to others... I found out it's all an illusion!
I'll tell you more about how that turned around in a later blog.

There is no source of evil. 'Evil' is people acting 'out of the vortex' in an attempt to feel better.
There is no source of illness. Illness is exaggerated emotion.  There are bacterias and viruses and diseases which are manifestations depicting exactly the way you have been feeling.
Again, this is another blog to expand upon.

The earth is an incredibly complex and perfectly balanced example of expanded and expanding life, as is the human body and any cell you care to examine more closely.  There is no danger that humans are threatening the earth's well-being.

There is no source of 'bad luck'. There is no source of 'accident'. Everything is either allowing or not allowing well-being.
Everything you attract is a perfect match to your state of mind. 
This is a good subject to expand upon for a later post.

3)Trust in your ability to handle a future unwanted situation (and the perceived pain around it).
There is nothing more useless than 'dread'.
Dread is an imagined situation and your imagined painful response to it.
Really? You want to feel pain now about a problem that doesn't even exist?

Aside from the silliness of that, how is your skill at feeling better?
Do you know how to focus on a thought that feels better?
If you do, that is ALL your power.
If you don't, why not start now?

As a reminder, you create your own reality.  By your thoughts.  Period.

Law of Attraction draws to you what you believe.  If you believe in danger, bad people, bad luck, illness and struggle... you will see and live more of that.
....Yet another blog post subject.

If you believe there is only well-being and dis-allowance of well-being (based only upon what you think!), you have the power to create the life you came to live.

Trust is a misunderstood concept. All you need is trust in the consistency and wellness and perfection of source energy, (you can call it God if you like) and of yourself as an embodiment of source energy right now.  Nothing needs to change.   All is well.  All you need is a change in the perspective in your role in your own life and you will see in yourself, and in the world, its constant, eternal, ever-present goodness and perfection.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Manifestations as Clues

Yesterday I spent about two and a half hours writing an extra-brilliant blog post.  I had erased a line I had just written, but the entire post erased.
Aaargh.  That was pretty dramatic.  Attention-grabbing.

At that moment I wanted to feel better, so I consciously blew it off to go watch TV with my hunny.
I knew I would address it tomorrow.
However, in the middle of the night I awoke with the question on my mind, Why did that happen?

Here's what I thought to myself: 
This is a manifestation of how I have been unwittingly feeling.  A clue!
What did it feel like?  Disappointing.
But it's a pretty big disappointment, that must mean I've been feeling disappointed about other things.

Yup.  I do remember feeling very disappointed over missing an entire night's sleep the night before.

I also remember feeling disappointed the day before that over discovering the $100 gift certificate I was going to use had expired.

And I remember feeling disappointed two days ago over not having received a check I was expecting.

What to do now?  Change the channel!   I've obviously been vibrating a low level of 'disappointment', so now I would like to adjust this frequency on this subject. (the subject being my perceived level of control over things manifesting when and how I want them to)

By the way, I'll explain here that this is called Fine Tuning.  I had not been feeling disappointed all the time for the last 3 days.  It had simply come up once, I ignored it, so it came back.  I ignored it again, so it came back, until it manifested in a way that was strong enough to get my attention.

Lying in my bed I thought, since 'disappointment' is not that far outside the vortex (see the Vibrational Scale) I can Take the Bounce, or tune myself to the opposite of 'disappointment'.
What word can I think of that seems to be the opposite of disappointed?  Delighted. Thrilled.

I said the words in my mind a few times.  I easily thought about how those words feel.
Then images came into my mind of past experiences that felt delightful and thrilling.
Lying in my bed, I could feel thrilled by focusing on those past experiences.
I continued to focus in that way for maybe 10 minutes.  One, because it felt great, and two because I wanted to make certain I had changed the channel.
I then naturally started feel so appreciative of the experience of having my blog post erased!
It's fun to go from disappointed to thrilled!  It's like riding a wave on a surfboard.

By the way, the check I had wanted to arrive at a certain time in a certain way showed up in cash.
The $100 coupons were honored in spite of having been expired for 5 months.
I slept a magnificent 11 hours straight last night.

Also, a valuable overriding lesson to me is to let Law of Attraction do its thing without trying to have so much control over how or when I want things to happen. 
Life is so good.

Monday, November 7, 2011

My Thought Bank

Every day, I gather beautiful images, fun conversations, positive manifestations, funny quotes, moments that feel amazing, compliments, etc, for my Thought Bank.

I use my Thought Bank every day to either get back into the vortex when I'm out, or to goose feeling good into feeling even better.

Consequently, because I have a huge repertoire of thoughts to draw upon, it's so easy to feel good.
Also, the act of looking for items to "bank" makes me look for things to appreciate, which makes my day automatically geared toward feeling good.

I don't need happy circumstances to observe in order to feel good because I have my thoughts with me at all times, no matter what the circumstance.
Consequently, because I spend so much time either feeling good or trying to feel good, my world reflects good feeling-circumstances.

How Does it Work?

Law of Attraction is working and effecting everything all the time whether you know it or not, whether you understand it or not, whether you believe it or not, whether you use it on purpose or not.
And it's a very amazing and wonderful thing.

Everything is energy, including thoughts.

If you think of energy vibrating on different frequencies (as you know sound waves do, light waves do, radio waves do, etc) you can get an idea of how energies are attracted to their own frequency.

If you think of your brain as a receiver/transmitter and that your thoughts are on different specific frequencies, like on a radio dial, you can begin to understand why, if you're thinking thoughts of worry, you're attracting more thoughts of worry.  Conversely, if you're thinking thoughts of appreciation, more thoughts of appreciation (and happiness and joy, which are the same frequency) pour into your mind.  (see the Vibrational Scale)

Thoughts create things.  All things are vibrational before they're physical.  Everything that you see and hear and taste and touch now, existed in vibrational form before they 'manifested.'

What manifests in your life is always a vibrational match to the majority of your thoughts on that subject.  Your thoughts may get more or less optimistic on a subject, but it's the chronic nature of your thoughts that attract its match.

You have set-points of thought/frequency, which are specific to particular subjects, such as relationships, health, money, work, home.  For instance, you can feel chronically worried or frustrated about money, but mostly enthusiastic about your relationships.  You love your home, but work is overwhelming.

When the majority of your thoughts about money are worry, you attract more circumstances that make you feel worried.
When you feel enthusiastic about your relationships, they just get better and better.  When you feel mostly overwhelmed about work, it gets even more chaotic and lacking in time and resources.

The big paradigm shift that lets you create your life the way you want it, rather than you reacting to things you don't want..... is this: 
You have control over your set-points.  All you have to do is change the channel.

How do you do that?
Think a thought (on that subject that has you upset) which makes you feel a little better.  Any thought that feels better is on a higher vibrational 'channel.'  Just starting the ball rolling toward feeling better will carry you to feeling better still.
Then do it again after seeing something else you don't want.

You feel a little better about it. You feel a sense of relief. Now what?
Either keep going with the good-feeling trend by doing a Focus Wheel exercise (Tools) to raise your feelings on the subject higher still,
or
Stop thinking about it for now.  Remember, you've shifted the vibration upward on the subject by making yourself feel better, so you are already no longer a match to the problem.

How do I stop thinking about it?  I keep seeing reminders of it.
Remind yourself that everything is energy.  The problem you're observing is actually a manifestation of how you used to feel about it. What's coming now is a match to the opposite of what you were feeling. (an energy wave, like a sound wave, has two equal and opposite sides)

How long does it take to see the manifestation of the opposite of the problem?
Only as long as it takes you to allow yourself to feel that good. A vibrational match.
For instance, if you have a situation that makes you feel worried or afraid about money, the opposite of that feeling is secure, confident, eager, abundant. 
If you can think of the subject of money and automatically feel eager, enthusiastic, stable, you are a match to the manifestation of financial security and abundance.

The manifestation happens when the tipping point is reached; when the majority of your feelings on the subject are a match to the opposite of the feelings you had about the problem.

How can I go from feeling worried and afraid to feeling secure and abundant without first seeing any physical evidence of change?
Thought comes first, change comes second.
You change your feelings just like a radio dial, in increments.
Increments of thought.  You can't jump from one extreme to another in one thought.  It takes the simple, determined intention to feel a little better, then a little better, better, all the way up the dial.

You want the improved circumstance in order to feel better.  Make yourself feel better for the sake of feeling better.
And you will see steady improvement in circumstacnes as you feel better.

But first, in order to make the trip up the dial, you have to make peace with where you are
There's no shame in being in a situation that feels worrisome or in feeling sad or depressed or overwhelmed. 
It's all just energy, and it is what it is in this moment.
In fact, you will get to the point where you will become so appreciative of the intensity of the problem, because the bigger the problem, the bigger the solution. (opposite ends of the energy wave, remember?)

That's the nutshell version of how Law of Attraction works.
Did it answer questions?  Did it make more questions?

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Admit How You Feel

I had a little tantrum this morning.  It was so awesome!

My family had left for work and school and I awoke to several messes that they had left.
As I was cleaning up, I tried to get into my usual mode of bliss, but I kept noticing that I was mumbling little complaints about these messes.

After 20 minutes and several attempts to make myself feel better, I began to feel like I had no control over the bubbling cauldron of thoughts that kept coming up.  Then I had and epiphany!
I said to myself, "Well let's just get mad, shall we?"  (apparently I speak to myself in the royal 'we')

I then let loose with all the things I wanted to say about how inconsiderate and lazy and and thoughtless these people are being.  I went on a tirade, as if they were there, saying "What is this, a frat house?  Am I your maid?"  Yeah, real zingers, I know, but it felt so good to unleash on them!

After a little while, I started getting thoughts like, "I'm glad I have a family to pick up after.  They really aren't so bad.  They really are very thoughtful and sweet and I love then so much."
I eventually got to, "I really like the physical movement of cleaning up.  I love the sense of satisfaction I get in seeing my beautiful house looking shiny and clean and beautiful again."

I felt so much better!  And I no longer felt the desire to yell at or try to control anybody.

I also realized those feelings had been building for a little while and wasn't acknowledging them.  Even yesterday, while I was driving I kept noticing inconsiderate drivers.  I never, ever see inconsiderate drivers, but I had been gathering 'inconsiderate' thoughts so that was what I noticed.

What a wonderful feeling it was to give myself permission to really feel an emotion and then let it go naturally.  It took no effort to make myself feel better after I vented those feelings.  And I did it without anyone there!  I didn't need to make anyone understand or make anyone do anything to make me feel better.  That's my job, not theirs.

What I know about Law of Attraction is that the more I focus on the considerate, kind, thoughtful nature of my family, the more they magically be that way.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

What You Really Want

You want things.  A new car, a house, a relationship, a bunch of money, a job, a vacation, a change, a child, a business deal, physical health, your preferred body weight, a PhD....

In every case, you want that thing because... you think you will feel better when you have it.

You want to feel good.  You want to feel that way because that's what it feels like to be yourself.  It's natural.

What you really want: is to feel secure, comfortable, loving, worthy, happy, fun-loving, spontaneous, uplifting, confident, relaxed, unlimited, generous, gregarious, energetic, eager, creative, connected, inspired, empowered, adventurous...comfortable in your own skin.

But how you feel is based always and only upon what you think.


Think about what that means.
If you don't feel good, eager, interested, most of the time now, it's because you are looking at reasons why you don't feel that way.  Then you're looking for circumstances to change in order to feel better.  But you can't change circumstances without changing how you feel first.

Oh, you can move things around to change things, but the negative feelings you had before will still be there.  And the new circumstance will reflect that.

However, if you train yourself to stop worrying, to stop focusing on what you don't like, you'll naturally feel good without changing any circumstance.  And then the circumstance will change.

All of those things you want are the juice of life!  Wanting unlimitedness.and different and more and better is what humans do best.

By the way, you can live in a castle in Italy and feel miserable.  You can have a prince and feel miserable.  You can have a fortune in your bank account and feel miserable.  You can have a perfect body and feel miserable. You can have your fantasy company materialize and create your every whim and feel miserable.

Believe me, I know!  I've experienced all of that!  It's not the circumstance that makes you feel good, it's what you think about.

What you really want is to feel good.
You have that power in every minute of every day, no matter what the circumstance.  I'm not exaggerating or even suggesting you need to give up on having anything you want.

What you really want is to realize the world is a focusing smorgasborg.  You have the power.  You can choose to focus on something that feels bad or you can choose to focus on something that feels better.
Everything in your life is reflecting what you think. Always. Consequently, when you feel good, good things happen.

When you know all the power is in your thoughts, you have a sense of power and joy and unlimitedness, which leads to tangible, manifested experiences of power and joy and unlimitedness.