The Voice in your Head

 One of the most important things I have realized is the understanding of the voice in our heads.  You can call it ego, psyche, sympathetic nervous system activation, protector, chatty annoying roommate... It is all of those things.

That voice talking to you is not you.

You, your soul, are the awareness of that voice.

The ego voice talks, narrates, warns, worries, judges, criticizes all day, every second of your day, unless you are sleeping or purposely directing your focus.  When you are purposely directing your focus in a positive way, you are in the present moment where you are RECEIVING positive thoughts and solutions, not generating negative thoughts and expanding your problems. As you know, what you focus upon expands. 

None of the things the voice is saying are real. They are interpretations of data that have been filtered through your belief system, most of which you formed erroneously before you were 7 years old. (If this happens, this must be true, for example)

The voice is trying to protect you, in a similar way that a horse runs away when seeing a trash can for the first time. He is having an emotional and then physical fight or flight response to a perceived threat.

The difference between you and the horse is the horse's recovery time.  The horse needs to save his energy, and since he wasn't eaten in that moment, his parasympathetic nervous system kicks in and within seconds he is perfectly calm and content again.

 You, when you hear a troublesome thought (see a trash can) will follow the train of thought and become emotionally caught up in the thread. You then think "what will I do?" in the face of this problem....  Your sympathetic nervous system is activated and remains so until you change the subject. But you find it hard to change the subject because after only 68 seconds you have built up substantial momentum in a negative direction. Your sympathetic nervous system is overactive. But it can be trained to relax and come back to the present moment where all your peace resides.

Most problems go away by themselves when you take your attention off of them.  Some problems require some action on your part, but what action?  Only inspired action will bring the results that best serve you.

Inspired action is an impulse to act which you receive when you are back in a calm and relaxed state.

The calm and relaxed state is called the receiving mode.

In order to learn to be the observer of the chatty voice, rather than the reactor, meditation is key.

Meditation is allowing yourself 15 quiet minutes per day to practice being aware of the voice and re-focusing on a sound. Over and over and over, until the gaps between the voice-thoughts get a little wider and you begin to feel in control of your focus. 

Over time you will begin to feel a peaceful sense of detachment. Your body may twitch and tingle and to go pleasantly numb. You may get to a place where you can no longer feel the chair you're sitting in. 

Eventually you may begin to hear the real you, saying lovely brilliant uplifting things. Or you may hear the answer to a question.

For me the answers pour in not during meditation, but later, while doing something mundane like brushing my teeth.

Now, having worked your focusing ability in meditation, you will have the skill to ignore the unhelpful chatter in your daily life, which will allow you to stay in the present where you feel good, and you are able to receive all the solutions and answers you need.

Maui, Hawaii

 I've been in Hawaii for a year and a half now, and I have so much more to write!

I have massive new insights, techniques, tools and experiences to share.

Come along! Let's keep going. It gets better and better.

My Italian life...

 I spent the next 4 years in Italy.

The first year, I took the journey back to Arizona to pick up 3 of my youngest kids, twins age 12, and their brother, age 13. They spent the summer with me in Italy. They loved it. I worked and bounced between Italy and Arizona for the next i couple of years while I developed the company.

By year 3 in Italy, after handing over the business to the owners of the hotel, I found myself living on the street in Siena for 5 and a half months.

I didn't tell anyone of my dilemma except for one Italian friend who gave me €50 per week to survive.

Meanwhile, I developed a relationship with Source.  I finally realized I was being guided and taken care of in every moment.

I asked for specific food, and it was delivered to me.  I asked for cigarettes, and they were delivered to me. 

I asked for a bed with white sheets... And received an image of a hospital bed... I said, "Not that kind of bed!"....  The next day I was in a hospital bed with appendicitis.  It turned out to be a wonderful 3-day experience filled with love and respect.

Eventually I asked for help from a local friend and was immediately given an apartment for a week.  I then asked another friend for a plane ticket. He had air miles, so gave them for free.  I flew to stay with my father in Arizona, who knew nothing of my experience. There I had food and shelter and the love my father was capable of, which was little, but much more than I expected.

After staying with him for a couple of months, I was offered an opportunity to help a friend (former boyfriend from high school) in Florida.  I went to Florida and helped the friend find a house.   I later realized he was alcoholic and narcissistic, but the reward was the upper story of a house to myself, privacy, and nearly limitless budget, which allowed me to lease a horse.  My intention was to help him feel better about himself by raising ducks, adopting a dog, putting in a pool to exercise in...  And teaching him about energy...  It worked for a while...Then he became more morose and stuck in his addictions.

That relationship became untenable...He kicked me out (then refused to admit he ha kicked me out,)

It was the perfect opportunity to decide to find a new place to live.

Going to Italy

I was getting a divorce and wanted to go on a vacation by myself.

I knew I wanted to go to Europe somewhere.

 I applied to be a horse trekking guide at a hotel in Tuscany after seeing an ad on the interwebs.

I had never been to Tuscany but the idea of trekking on horseback was irresistible.

The hotel told me I couldn't have the job because it was only for students, since it was a work-trade situation.

I was so drawn to the location I said I would come anyway and stay as a guest for a little while.  I didn't have money to stay for long.

The owners of the hotel picked me up from the airport, and during the 45 min drive they talked to me ...

They then said, the manager of the trekking program had just broken her arm... Could I take over her role?  And by the way do you speak German?

Yes! Yes I can, and yes I do!

The day after i arrived in the country I was on horseback leading a trek with a hand-drawn map, speaking German, through vineyards and forests of Tuscany.

Over the next two weeks, I was talking to the other guests on the porch in the evenings and i realized half of them were not riders. They didn't have much to do.  They were there with their horsey partners.

I suggested to the owners that they offer excursions by car...  They said, "YES,! That's a great idea. Let's start a company together, include other hotels, and you be the president.". 

I said, Okay, let's do that!"