My first experience living outside was in Italy.
I was living on a small divorce settlement.
Before my job at the hotel ended because of the end of the tourist season, I had been living very well, with my own car and plenty of fulfilling work to do and horses to play with and lots of free time in a gorgeous environment while living in a wonderful hotel..
After 3 years in Italy, working as a volunteer for a hotel, having been given a free place to stay as I worked as a trekking guide and then helping them set up new avenues for revenue, I moved to Siena. I stayed in a hotel for a few weeks, then enrolled in a language school. The school set me up with an apartment for a few months, and then another even better one for a few more months.
I finished school and was out of money. I had enough for 3 nights at a hotel and then asked various people for enough help to allow me to ultimately stay 6 weeks. Then my money ran out. I wasn't legal to stay in Italy, nor was it legal for me to work there. Though some friends tried to get me work, it was too risky for any employer to hire illegal workers.
I had been expecting the universe to deliver another form of income or a windfall, but I had been so obsessively worried every day, the only path was through. The path that would expose me to the most contrast while also showing me no choice but to wake up and pay attention to my guidance.
My first night outside was at an Italian wedding. It was a park at the university where a wedding formed in front of me.
The music was profoundly uplifting (Don't Worry, Be Happy kind of thing) It actually made me cry with appreciation for the obvious messages.
I was (felt) entirely invisible as they ate and drank and danced while I stoically fought my own hunger. However, between the music and the angel numbers I kept catching on my phone, I felt supported.
After the wedding, I slept on the cold, wet grass and shivered. In the morning I drank a leftover beer I found for breakfast.
I lived outside for 5 and a half months.
Both the injustices and the joy I felt will stay with me forever.
More detail to come
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