A distraught person says, "My mate has left me and I am so sad." Or "My piano was repossessed, and I am so sad." Or, 'My dog died, and I am so sad."
You are not sad because you have lost something you love.
You are sad because you are a 'circumstantial' focuser.
You are sad because you rely upon circumstances to make you feel good, and you don't know how to feel good without them. It is as if you have a reliable crutch, and without the crutch you believe you will fall and suffer great pain.
I understand why you might think there is cause and effect there, but that is not so.
When you focus on your mate and feel his loving gaze, you feel wonderful.
When you focus on playing the piano and feel blissful, you credit the piano.
When you focus on your dog and feel unconditional love, you feel so good.
Pay attention to the very important and distinct difference here: It is not your mate, it is not the piano, it is not your dog that feels so good.
It is that when you are focused on those things, you are not worrying. You are being who you really are, which feels fantastic.
Your natural state of being is loving, appreciative, happy... unless you are thinking about something to worry about.
Once you learn how to stop worrying, which means letting go of the idea of controlling people or circumstances and believing in universal well-being, you are no longer at the mercy of ANY outside circumstance.
When you learn how to focus your thoughts on purpose, you will have hundreds of thoughts you can focus on that will bring you back to the natural state of who you really are in a matter of seconds. Paradoxically, when you don't need things around you to appreciate, you will then be surrounded by more and more things to appreciate.
Once you realize everything that happens is contributing to your well-being, you lose all fear, you feel eager and appreciative, and never, ever at a loss about anything.