This post was inspired by a conversation I had tonight with someone who has one of these amazing kids.
Mine has been a fantastic teacher.
My 9-year-old son has been labeled 'gifted' and 'autistic,' but I've come to realize those labels really mean he's extraordinarily sensitive. And I've come to understand and massively appreciate he was born that way on purpose.
Lesson #1: people are here to experience physical life in their own way.
His natural, physical vibrational sensors are extra sensitive to smell and to sound and to visual input and to tactile objects and food (which manifests as hypoglycemia).
But he is also much more aware of how others feel. He gets vibrational cues from thoughts (of others and of himself) and he feels his response to thoughts (as feelings--- feelings are the vibrational interpretation of thoughts--) acutely.
He has the ability to read my thoughts (and others, too), and he says them out loud regularly. He doesn't do it on purpose, he just picks up on them if they're on the same vibrational wavelength he's on.
Lesson #2: Thoughts are things and they are similar to radio signals which are on different frequencies.
When anything goes awry and he feels bad in any way, he takes it very hard. However, when he feels good (which is most of the time now), he feels very, very good.
We, as parents, have had to learn to leave him alone to let him feel negative exaggerated responses. As long as we provide him with food and a safe, loving environment, we've learned to let him work it out. Because one, there's nothing we can (or should) do, and two, any amount of interference just prolongs the emotional episode.
Lesson #3: Positive expectation of others' well-being uplifts them.
He has become adept at making himself feel better. What's most wonderful about that is that he knows he is the one who has control over how he feels. And the more control he has over his feelings, the more powerful he feels.
He has a myriad of techniques to feel better. The quickest and most effective of which is to stick his head out the window of a moving car!
Lesson #4: Everyone has his own method to feel better, and there is no timeline required.
Now I understand the reason for leaving him alone with an emotional (thought)struggle: when you observe someone who's out of the vortex (feeling bad) and you try to help them, you just amplify the feeling they're having.
Lesson 5: There is nothing wrong with being out of the vortex (feeling bad). You, or they, are simply 'asking' for an improved situation more intensely, which only results in a more specific positive outcome.
Let's back up a little to give you some background about our awesome kid.
Early on we gathered that he was different in that he had a rich inner life. He wanted to be alone and he wanted to play by walking and talking to himself.
We chose a Montessori kindergarten because we thought it would give him more physical movement and tactile options with which to learn.
His teacher thought there was something wrong with him because he always wanted to have something in his mouth, like a paper clip, and he wanted to spend the day flying imaginary jets around his body. He didn't want to participate or listen to the class discussion.
But when he was tested on the subjects discussed in class, he could answer all the questions correctly.
Lesson #6: Everyone learns differently.
We had him tested for a 'gifted' school, and he scored in the 98th percentile.
We transferred him, and this school let him have a lot of freedom, which he loved. His teacher understood who he really was and that it was okay that he was different. 1st grade was very successful.
His 2nd grade teacher thought his inability to sit still and listen and do the written work on command was unacceptable. She sent him out of the room as punishment. Consequently, every day for the first 2 weeks of 2nd grade he was wandering around the school campus.
His 1st-grade teacher saw the problem and volunteered to allow him in her 1st-grade classroom as a 2nd-grader. That year he had the psychological hurdle to overcome of being a 2nd-grader in a 1st-grade classroom. He managed brilliantly. I'll have to say also, I had to first make peace with the idea of his ability to handle it.
As it so happened, that same teacher then became a third-grade teacher, and low and behold, he had her for the third year in a row.
He did fine in terms of testing, but he didn't do class work and he didn't do homework. And I began to see that he was bored.
Lesson #7: While in the vortex, ideas that occur to you are good ideas.
This year, for 4th grade, I had a wild idea to transfer him (and his twin brothers) to another school in order to shake things up. This school is an accelerated school, which means the curriculum is really at least a year or more ahead of the grade. It also meant, little did we know, that they would be given loads and loads of homework.
(I relayed this in an earlier post, but I'll repeat it here for continuity)
For the first few weeks of school, the teacher literally yelled at me because of Paris' lack of attention in class and for his absence of homework. I nodded politely, knowing any conversation with an angry person would have no good outcome.
Lesson #8: Don't give a rip about what other people think of you.
His teacher clearly thought I was shirking my responsibility to 'make' my child do his homework.
Lesson #9: You can't control other people (including your own kids)
Any amount of threat or bribery or rationalization to cajole someone into doing something is simply conditional love. "If you do this thing I will feel better." (my happiness is conditional upon your actions)
And no, you can't justify it by saying it's for the kid's happiness, because you're still asking for an outcome that will make you feel better.
Lesson #10: Make peace with what is
This is by far the most important lesson there is to learn, and is really a requirement in order to achieve any of the preceding lessons. Or anything you want, for that matter.
I made a conscious decision to stay out of it. I had been harboring plans to say things or do things to make Paris' life easier, and I had been harboring venomous thoughts toward the angry teacher, but I decided those thoughts were about taking action to solve a problem rather than changing my thoughts about it.
I decided to make peace with it. That meant I said things to myself that made me feel better about the situation. I said to myself that Paris was encountering these challenges for a reason. I realized that he was on a path that is uniquely his own. I acknowledged that he didn't need me (or even want me) to feather his nest for him.
I also realized that the teacher was learning from Paris just as I had. That thought made me very happy!
The very day after I had made that happy resolution within myself, the teacher texted us to say Paris was suddenly paying attention in class.
He began doing homework every night without prompting.
By the end of the next week he was awarded Student of the Week.
High vibration trumps low vibration. Someone who's in the vortex is more powerful than millions who are not.
My high expectation of my son's well-being became a visceral feeling to him, which influenced his true self: interested, invigorated, passionate about learning, open, happy.
I had also made a point to think appreciative thoughts about his teacher.
Lesson #11: Making lists of positive aspects about a person attracts those aspects to your every encounter.
I'm sure there are more lessons my son has taught me, and will continue to teach me.
And by the way, everything that happens in your life is an opportunity to learn.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
answer to a question
"How can I help someone "believe" or "understand" when I see that person is unable to hear the answer?
The first step is to think about her when you are not with her. Your belief in her well-being, no matter what her own perception of herself, is the uplifting fulcrum you provide. There need not be any words, because she can't hear them, but simply your unwavering understanding of what she really wants (and is hers, since you know she has asked and has therefore already created...)
The second step, when you're with her and hearing her pain is to accept and appreciate that she is where she is, and you need not FEEL the problem with her in order to make her feel understood. It's an important part of her experience. She wouldn't appreciate the improvement if she had not felt the lack of it.
When you observed her discomfort, you naturally got spat out of the vortex.
Return to the vortex. If you need to excuse yourself from the room for a moment in order to do so, then you should do so. In the vortex you KNOW she's fine. When someone is in the presence of someone who knows of their well-being, the recipient of that knowing benefits by it.
Here's the important point: The other person's well-being is assured, whether she knows it or not.
She'll be led toward her own best interest, whether she's aware of it or not. Everyone is here for the experience of physical life and for the joy of figuring it out on their own.
When people ask questions of you, they're almost ready for the answer. If they don't hear it right now, that's okay. There's no danger to them and you haven't failed.
The first step is to think about her when you are not with her. Your belief in her well-being, no matter what her own perception of herself, is the uplifting fulcrum you provide. There need not be any words, because she can't hear them, but simply your unwavering understanding of what she really wants (and is hers, since you know she has asked and has therefore already created...)
The second step, when you're with her and hearing her pain is to accept and appreciate that she is where she is, and you need not FEEL the problem with her in order to make her feel understood. It's an important part of her experience. She wouldn't appreciate the improvement if she had not felt the lack of it.
When you observed her discomfort, you naturally got spat out of the vortex.
Return to the vortex. If you need to excuse yourself from the room for a moment in order to do so, then you should do so. In the vortex you KNOW she's fine. When someone is in the presence of someone who knows of their well-being, the recipient of that knowing benefits by it.
Here's the important point: The other person's well-being is assured, whether she knows it or not.
She'll be led toward her own best interest, whether she's aware of it or not. Everyone is here for the experience of physical life and for the joy of figuring it out on their own.
When people ask questions of you, they're almost ready for the answer. If they don't hear it right now, that's okay. There's no danger to them and you haven't failed.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Readers' Questions
I have a request for you Readers.
When I have one-on-one consultations with people, the most extraordinary thing happpens.
When he or she asks the question (or poses a problem), the answer, which has been created by the questioner but isn't available to them because the asker is still on the vibration of the question, is immediately apparent to me. In other words, I relay the answer because i'm not caught up in the question. (The question and the answer are opposite vibrations).
My request is for readers to ask questions based on a real, current experiences.
The questions can be posted as comments on the blog or as messages through Facebook, or direct email (my address is listed on FB). They can be anonymous if you like.
When I have one-on-one consultations with people, the most extraordinary thing happpens.
When he or she asks the question (or poses a problem), the answer, which has been created by the questioner but isn't available to them because the asker is still on the vibration of the question, is immediately apparent to me. In other words, I relay the answer because i'm not caught up in the question. (The question and the answer are opposite vibrations).
My request is for readers to ask questions based on a real, current experiences.
The questions can be posted as comments on the blog or as messages through Facebook, or direct email (my address is listed on FB). They can be anonymous if you like.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Exercise Your Focus, Practical Applications
In response to those who requested more information on how to focus deliberately:
In Exercise Your Focus (part 1) and also in The Joy of Focus, I talked about the powerlessness of needing existing circumstances alone to focus upon in order to feel good. (" I got praise at work today," "My boyfriend sent me a card," "This show is funny," "This vacation spot makes me feel relaxed," "I lost 3 pounds," "I got a new client...")
All those thoughts are positive and wonderful and are tuning you to the vibration of who you really are. That's all very good. But what happens tomorrow?... when your boss criticizes you, or your boyfriend leaves you, or there's nothing on TV, or your vacation is over, or you gain 7 pounds, or you lose your job?
What about the rest of your day when you're filling your brain with passive, responsive thoughts.... reading or watching TV or listening to the radio or talking to someone or focusing on accomplishing a task .... Nothing wrong with any of those things. Unless it's the only way you focus.
Not to mention the powerlessness of observing circumstances that don't feel good and then staying in that state (replaying a conversation you didn't like, thinking about how to control someone else's behavior, regretting something you did....)
If you believe you need existing circumstances to observe in order to make you feel good, you will try to control circumstances. And that can't be done from a physical/action point of view.
Also, just observing circumstances and responding to them sets up a passive, not powerful, way of life.
And, as you focus on problems, regrets, irritations, you are attracting more thoughts that match those thoughts. And you're attracting more situations that match those thoughts.
In that frame of mind you are at the mercy of (seemingly) random circumstances.
Your real joy lies in the intentional direction of your thought toward appreciation (of anything or anyone) and love (you feel about anything or anyone) and fun (you have had or plan to have) and adventure (you have had or plan to have) and dreams (of future experiences) and happy memories.
Throughout your day, many times a day, when you're going to sleep, waking up, taking a shower, driving, cooking, doing the dishes, taking a walk, taking a break between clients or TV shows, sitting outside, sewing a hem, working out, waiting on hold, vacuuming, walking the dog, taking out the trash, .... or, oddly, sitting still doing nothing....
That valuable time is the time to intentionally think of something nice. Think of a fun conversation you had, or an experience that felt good, or an experience you want to have, or the current absence of pain in your body, or the reasons you like someone, or the reasons you like your house, or the reasons you like your job, or the reasons you like your relationship, or the reasons you like the book you're reading.
That little bit of intentional direction of positive thought is more powerful than any merger or any business deal or any action you could take about anything.
The way to focus deliberately (and to create your life deliberately) is outlined in the following way:
(I've said these things before, but this is a never-before outline of a day-to-day plan)
A good head start is to wake up feeling good. The only way to wake up feeling good is to go to bed feeling good.
1) When you go to bed and you are lying in your bed, focus on something to appreciate. The easiest thing is the most general, like the softness of your pillow or temperature of the room or the sound of something soothing.
And/Or, focus on something that feels good. A memory, a fantasy, a person, an event.
Or focus on words that feels good. Start with "A" and think of a good-feeling word that starts with "A". Go through the alphabet. Do any or all these things until you fall asleep.
2) Also, before you fall asleep, state an intention to remember your dreams. They're so amazing!
3) As you awaken, ask yourself if there were any dreams you remember. Regardless of the content, ask yourself how the dream felt. If it felt good, revel in it. If it felt bad, revel in the excitement of revealing it's secrets later! (make some notes if you're not sure you will remember later). If you have no memory, revel in the fact that there are no big issues to examine.
4) Stay in your bed, stretch, make yourself comfortable, and focus on appreciative thoughts for a few moments. Think of anything at all in the present moment or in your life in general that you can appreciate. In a state of appreciation, you are in the vortex. Intend to enjoy your day.
5)While you brush your teeth, listen to the sound of brushing your teeth. That moment of absense of thought atunes you to what a naturally high vibration feels like. Often the thoughts that come to you now are great-feeling thoughts. Or original ideas!
6) During your day, when something occurs that you do not like, (called 'contrast,') your immediate goal is to look at the problem from another perspective and make yourself feel better. Feel better by ignoring the unwanted circumstance, OR by telling yourself something soothing about that subject.
You will encounter something ('contrast') that spits you out of the vortex (the state of feeling good) a few times or several times or many times in one day. Don't be surprised or alarmed by this!
Making yourself feel better, either in general or about a subject in particular, is much simpler than you may imagine.
Example:
Let's say you're at work and you get a call from a crucial client who is unhappy and demanding a meeting to resolve a seemingly unresolvable issue.
That spits you out of the vortex. Of course it does! That's what 'contrast' is supposed to do!
What to do now: Tell yourself that whatever happens will benefit you. Remind yourself that you are good at what you do. Let go of any outcome. If the account goes away, it wasn't a match to you or your company. That's enough. It will be immediately replaced by a better account. If the account stays, that's fine too.
Example:
Let's say you get a flat tire on the way to work. Not only that, your cell phone is dead. You immediately feel a variety of worries:
The people gathering for the meeting you are headed to will be angry that you are late. They came from out of town and will not be here for long. You can't call to let them know.
You can't call to get the auto service to fix your tire without a phone.
You think if you miss the meeting the opportunity for their business will be gone.
You're in a skirt and high heels and you don't know how to change a tire. (No judgement, guys.)
What to do now: Tell yourself that "what is happening just is. No amount of worry will change that. Everyone will understand. If this meeting doesn't happen there will be others. Someone will eventually stop and lend me a phone. Business is not going to collapse because of one missed meeting. I'm fine. This is not such a big deal."
Just then a motorist pulls over to offer help. He changes your tire for you and you have the funniest half hour of conversation on the side of the road. You even exchange phone numbers to get together another time. You think, "What a nice guy! I'm so glad I met him. I'm so glad I got the opportunity to see what real people and real situations are like when I miss a meeting!"
Follow these basic intentions to feel good; One, after exposure to contrast, and Two, during as many quiet moments as you can make during the day.
The result will be that you feel so much better! And then the things that you attract into your life will be better and better.
In Exercise Your Focus (part 1) and also in The Joy of Focus, I talked about the powerlessness of needing existing circumstances alone to focus upon in order to feel good. (" I got praise at work today," "My boyfriend sent me a card," "This show is funny," "This vacation spot makes me feel relaxed," "I lost 3 pounds," "I got a new client...")
All those thoughts are positive and wonderful and are tuning you to the vibration of who you really are. That's all very good. But what happens tomorrow?... when your boss criticizes you, or your boyfriend leaves you, or there's nothing on TV, or your vacation is over, or you gain 7 pounds, or you lose your job?
What about the rest of your day when you're filling your brain with passive, responsive thoughts.... reading or watching TV or listening to the radio or talking to someone or focusing on accomplishing a task .... Nothing wrong with any of those things. Unless it's the only way you focus.
Not to mention the powerlessness of observing circumstances that don't feel good and then staying in that state (replaying a conversation you didn't like, thinking about how to control someone else's behavior, regretting something you did....)
If you believe you need existing circumstances to observe in order to make you feel good, you will try to control circumstances. And that can't be done from a physical/action point of view.
Also, just observing circumstances and responding to them sets up a passive, not powerful, way of life.
And, as you focus on problems, regrets, irritations, you are attracting more thoughts that match those thoughts. And you're attracting more situations that match those thoughts.
In that frame of mind you are at the mercy of (seemingly) random circumstances.
Your real joy lies in the intentional direction of your thought toward appreciation (of anything or anyone) and love (you feel about anything or anyone) and fun (you have had or plan to have) and adventure (you have had or plan to have) and dreams (of future experiences) and happy memories.
Throughout your day, many times a day, when you're going to sleep, waking up, taking a shower, driving, cooking, doing the dishes, taking a walk, taking a break between clients or TV shows, sitting outside, sewing a hem, working out, waiting on hold, vacuuming, walking the dog, taking out the trash, .... or, oddly, sitting still doing nothing....
That valuable time is the time to intentionally think of something nice. Think of a fun conversation you had, or an experience that felt good, or an experience you want to have, or the current absence of pain in your body, or the reasons you like someone, or the reasons you like your house, or the reasons you like your job, or the reasons you like your relationship, or the reasons you like the book you're reading.
That little bit of intentional direction of positive thought is more powerful than any merger or any business deal or any action you could take about anything.
The way to focus deliberately (and to create your life deliberately) is outlined in the following way:
(I've said these things before, but this is a never-before outline of a day-to-day plan)
A good head start is to wake up feeling good. The only way to wake up feeling good is to go to bed feeling good.
1) When you go to bed and you are lying in your bed, focus on something to appreciate. The easiest thing is the most general, like the softness of your pillow or temperature of the room or the sound of something soothing.
And/Or, focus on something that feels good. A memory, a fantasy, a person, an event.
Or focus on words that feels good. Start with "A" and think of a good-feeling word that starts with "A". Go through the alphabet. Do any or all these things until you fall asleep.
2) Also, before you fall asleep, state an intention to remember your dreams. They're so amazing!
3) As you awaken, ask yourself if there were any dreams you remember. Regardless of the content, ask yourself how the dream felt. If it felt good, revel in it. If it felt bad, revel in the excitement of revealing it's secrets later! (make some notes if you're not sure you will remember later). If you have no memory, revel in the fact that there are no big issues to examine.
4) Stay in your bed, stretch, make yourself comfortable, and focus on appreciative thoughts for a few moments. Think of anything at all in the present moment or in your life in general that you can appreciate. In a state of appreciation, you are in the vortex. Intend to enjoy your day.
5)While you brush your teeth, listen to the sound of brushing your teeth. That moment of absense of thought atunes you to what a naturally high vibration feels like. Often the thoughts that come to you now are great-feeling thoughts. Or original ideas!
6) During your day, when something occurs that you do not like, (called 'contrast,') your immediate goal is to look at the problem from another perspective and make yourself feel better. Feel better by ignoring the unwanted circumstance, OR by telling yourself something soothing about that subject.
You will encounter something ('contrast') that spits you out of the vortex (the state of feeling good) a few times or several times or many times in one day. Don't be surprised or alarmed by this!
Making yourself feel better, either in general or about a subject in particular, is much simpler than you may imagine.
Example:
Let's say you're at work and you get a call from a crucial client who is unhappy and demanding a meeting to resolve a seemingly unresolvable issue.
That spits you out of the vortex. Of course it does! That's what 'contrast' is supposed to do!
What to do now: Tell yourself that whatever happens will benefit you. Remind yourself that you are good at what you do. Let go of any outcome. If the account goes away, it wasn't a match to you or your company. That's enough. It will be immediately replaced by a better account. If the account stays, that's fine too.
Example:
Let's say you get a flat tire on the way to work. Not only that, your cell phone is dead. You immediately feel a variety of worries:
The people gathering for the meeting you are headed to will be angry that you are late. They came from out of town and will not be here for long. You can't call to let them know.
You can't call to get the auto service to fix your tire without a phone.
You think if you miss the meeting the opportunity for their business will be gone.
You're in a skirt and high heels and you don't know how to change a tire. (No judgement, guys.)
What to do now: Tell yourself that "what is happening just is. No amount of worry will change that. Everyone will understand. If this meeting doesn't happen there will be others. Someone will eventually stop and lend me a phone. Business is not going to collapse because of one missed meeting. I'm fine. This is not such a big deal."
Just then a motorist pulls over to offer help. He changes your tire for you and you have the funniest half hour of conversation on the side of the road. You even exchange phone numbers to get together another time. You think, "What a nice guy! I'm so glad I met him. I'm so glad I got the opportunity to see what real people and real situations are like when I miss a meeting!"
Follow these basic intentions to feel good; One, after exposure to contrast, and Two, during as many quiet moments as you can make during the day.
The result will be that you feel so much better! And then the things that you attract into your life will be better and better.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
The Joy of Focus
I've had a surprisingly enlightening and beneficial experience I'd like to share with you.
I had a dream that a huge rattlesnake was about to bite my face and I was paralyzed with fright and unable to move away.
I awoke with vivid feelings of utter powerlessness.
What on earth? I can't believe I have anything close to powerless feelings in my life, let alone powerless feelings that were repetitive enough to manifest in a dream.
I thought about my recent emotional life and could admit that I hadn't been feeling great for the last couple of weeks. Great is how I normally feel, so "not great" is quite a departure for me.
I could pinpoint a sense of boredom, which, any way you slice it, is out of the vortex. But that's not powerlessness...
I noticed I had been filling my days with seemingly enjoyable activities: hiking while listening to seminars on my iPod, cleaning house while listening to seminars on my iPod, watching uplifting TV like Ellen and Funniest Home Videos, but also "interesting" TV, like Real Housewives and Project Runway which have lots of stress and drama, also time was spent reading fun, humorous books.
Why, while I was doing all these things I enjoyed did I end up feeling powerless?
Because I had left out time for intentional thought, and by doing so I had relinquished my power.
During that 2 weeks, I found myself feeling "not good" repeatedly. Since I'm so accustomed to feeling good, feeling "not good" feels absolutely awful to me.
I had begun to question my current ability to focus myself into feeling good. Because, one, I had been relying on (relinquishing my power to) things to see and hear and experience to feel good, and two, I didn't feel so good.
Also, the more I felt bad, the more I noticed my seeming inability to feel good in a sustained way again which resulted in frustration, then impatience, then self-criticism.
By the way, as you keep expanding every day, by noticing things you don't want and launching new preferences, you have to keep up with that expansion. The only way to keep up with expansion is by intentional focused thoughts that make you feel good.
My time was filled with thinking passively in response to what I was hearing or seeing. I was still intending to do only those things that felt good, but I had gradually begun to rely on observing things that felt good rather than generating my own thoughts. I hadn't really noticed that the feeling that kept arising was boredom. Boredom is the outside the vortex. (see the Vibrational Scale)
And because I'm a bit of an overachiever, I was kicking my own ass for being outside the vortex. That's a surefire way to make it impossible to get back in.
What I love is that if you ignore a negative emotion, over time it will get bigger until you can't help but notice it.
It wasn't until I had a petrifying dream of complete powerlessness that I noticed the pattern of relinquishing control of directed thought, boredom, discomfort, more discomfort...
That dream was such a gift. Thank you for telling me that I had slipped into a pattern of being led by the nose by things I was observing, then becoming self-critical and powerless over how I was feeling!
I had decided I would stop watching TV or reading or listening to tapes every hour in order to do something quiet for the next hour to exercise my thoughts toward appreciation and love and passion and wonder and desires.
Then something wonderful happened. As soon as I made that decision, the cable went out. For two days I was in a blissful state. I still read for an hour here or there, I still listened to tapes for a little while here and there, but for the majority of the time I got to get reacquainted with the power and thrill of my own thoughts.
I had a dream that a huge rattlesnake was about to bite my face and I was paralyzed with fright and unable to move away.
I awoke with vivid feelings of utter powerlessness.
What on earth? I can't believe I have anything close to powerless feelings in my life, let alone powerless feelings that were repetitive enough to manifest in a dream.
I thought about my recent emotional life and could admit that I hadn't been feeling great for the last couple of weeks. Great is how I normally feel, so "not great" is quite a departure for me.
I could pinpoint a sense of boredom, which, any way you slice it, is out of the vortex. But that's not powerlessness...
I noticed I had been filling my days with seemingly enjoyable activities: hiking while listening to seminars on my iPod, cleaning house while listening to seminars on my iPod, watching uplifting TV like Ellen and Funniest Home Videos, but also "interesting" TV, like Real Housewives and Project Runway which have lots of stress and drama, also time was spent reading fun, humorous books.
Why, while I was doing all these things I enjoyed did I end up feeling powerless?
Because I had left out time for intentional thought, and by doing so I had relinquished my power.
During that 2 weeks, I found myself feeling "not good" repeatedly. Since I'm so accustomed to feeling good, feeling "not good" feels absolutely awful to me.
I had begun to question my current ability to focus myself into feeling good. Because, one, I had been relying on (relinquishing my power to) things to see and hear and experience to feel good, and two, I didn't feel so good.
Also, the more I felt bad, the more I noticed my seeming inability to feel good in a sustained way again which resulted in frustration, then impatience, then self-criticism.
By the way, as you keep expanding every day, by noticing things you don't want and launching new preferences, you have to keep up with that expansion. The only way to keep up with expansion is by intentional focused thoughts that make you feel good.
My time was filled with thinking passively in response to what I was hearing or seeing. I was still intending to do only those things that felt good, but I had gradually begun to rely on observing things that felt good rather than generating my own thoughts. I hadn't really noticed that the feeling that kept arising was boredom. Boredom is the outside the vortex. (see the Vibrational Scale)
And because I'm a bit of an overachiever, I was kicking my own ass for being outside the vortex. That's a surefire way to make it impossible to get back in.
What I love is that if you ignore a negative emotion, over time it will get bigger until you can't help but notice it.
It wasn't until I had a petrifying dream of complete powerlessness that I noticed the pattern of relinquishing control of directed thought, boredom, discomfort, more discomfort...
That dream was such a gift. Thank you for telling me that I had slipped into a pattern of being led by the nose by things I was observing, then becoming self-critical and powerless over how I was feeling!
I had decided I would stop watching TV or reading or listening to tapes every hour in order to do something quiet for the next hour to exercise my thoughts toward appreciation and love and passion and wonder and desires.
Then something wonderful happened. As soon as I made that decision, the cable went out. For two days I was in a blissful state. I still read for an hour here or there, I still listened to tapes for a little while here and there, but for the majority of the time I got to get reacquainted with the power and thrill of my own thoughts.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
"adults don't have fun"
My 8-yr-old-son said that his classroom today was talking about parents.
He said, "My mom is 46 (his brother yelled, "no, 48!" Actually 49, but who's counting?), but she looks 27."
I believe what he means is that I feel 27 to him. He had told me on more than one occasion that if he has a choice, he'd rather not be a grownup because they don't have fun anymore.(except for me)
His oldest brother is 27, and he equates that age with playfulness and silliness and presence in the moment that grumpy grownups don't have.
If I have truly taught him that joy is a choice, I'm complimented beyond measure.
If I teach him nothing else, I'll be satisfied.
He said, "My mom is 46 (his brother yelled, "no, 48!" Actually 49, but who's counting?), but she looks 27."
I believe what he means is that I feel 27 to him. He had told me on more than one occasion that if he has a choice, he'd rather not be a grownup because they don't have fun anymore.(except for me)
His oldest brother is 27, and he equates that age with playfulness and silliness and presence in the moment that grumpy grownups don't have.
If I have truly taught him that joy is a choice, I'm complimented beyond measure.
If I teach him nothing else, I'll be satisfied.
You Create Your Own Reality
You, as a physical expression of non-physical energy, are a perceiving machine. You are a sensory interpreter of vibration. And everything is vibration.
You observe, then interpret, meaning you have a thought about it and a feeling response to the thought. The feeling response feels either good or less than good. If it feels not good, you have automatically and subconsciously 'asked' for improvement. In that same moment, the very improvement you want has been vibrationally created.
Whether it's an improved relationship, more money, a circumstance, it now exists vibrationally. Everything that currently exists was vibrational first.
The thing you just created by your 'asking' is you creating your own reality.
The question is, will you allow your new creation to become a physical, seeable, touchable, spendable addition to your reality?
Here's the thing that prevents you from receiving that creation:
You think the unwanted circumstance determines how you feel.
Whenever you observe something you do not want (or the absence of something you do want) you are always knocked out of the vortex. (see the Vibrational Scale) That is the natural function of your physical sensory interpreting machine that is you in physical form.
Your job then is to make yourself feel better.
As you go through your day, you observe, get knocked out of the vortex, make yourself feel better; observe, get knocked out, make yourself feel better; observe, get knocked out, make yourself feel better.
As you exercise that focusing muscle, it gets easier and easier and easier to do. It is deceptively easy. All you really have to do is stop focusing on what you don't want, or on the absence of what you do want.
Most people believe that the circumstance is responsible for making them feel bad, therefore the circumstance must change.
It is NOT the circumstance that is making you continue to feel bad, it is the fact that you feel bad that is making you feel bad.
Hear this: In continuing to feel bad about something, you are literally splitting the vibration within you. What you have created is vibrationally a match to who you now have expanded to become, and your attention to the unwanted circumstance is a very different frequency than the one you just created. There is a physical sensation within your body that feels in a range from uncomfortable all the way to painful: That sensation is negative emotion.
When you redirect your attention to a thought that makes you feel a little better; you have focused on a thought that is on a higher vibration, and therefore moving toward the higher vibration of your new creation.
You feel a sense of relief. You've lessened the vibrational rift within you and you have opened the gate to allow that new creation to show up in your life.
That is creating your own reality.
ANY intentional movement toward your new creation is where all your creative power lies.
You observe, then interpret, meaning you have a thought about it and a feeling response to the thought. The feeling response feels either good or less than good. If it feels not good, you have automatically and subconsciously 'asked' for improvement. In that same moment, the very improvement you want has been vibrationally created.
Whether it's an improved relationship, more money, a circumstance, it now exists vibrationally. Everything that currently exists was vibrational first.
The thing you just created by your 'asking' is you creating your own reality.
The question is, will you allow your new creation to become a physical, seeable, touchable, spendable addition to your reality?
Here's the thing that prevents you from receiving that creation:
You think the unwanted circumstance determines how you feel.
Whenever you observe something you do not want (or the absence of something you do want) you are always knocked out of the vortex. (see the Vibrational Scale) That is the natural function of your physical sensory interpreting machine that is you in physical form.
Your job then is to make yourself feel better.
As you go through your day, you observe, get knocked out of the vortex, make yourself feel better; observe, get knocked out, make yourself feel better; observe, get knocked out, make yourself feel better.
As you exercise that focusing muscle, it gets easier and easier and easier to do. It is deceptively easy. All you really have to do is stop focusing on what you don't want, or on the absence of what you do want.
Most people believe that the circumstance is responsible for making them feel bad, therefore the circumstance must change.
It is NOT the circumstance that is making you continue to feel bad, it is the fact that you feel bad that is making you feel bad.
Hear this: In continuing to feel bad about something, you are literally splitting the vibration within you. What you have created is vibrationally a match to who you now have expanded to become, and your attention to the unwanted circumstance is a very different frequency than the one you just created. There is a physical sensation within your body that feels in a range from uncomfortable all the way to painful: That sensation is negative emotion.
When you redirect your attention to a thought that makes you feel a little better; you have focused on a thought that is on a higher vibration, and therefore moving toward the higher vibration of your new creation.
You feel a sense of relief. You've lessened the vibrational rift within you and you have opened the gate to allow that new creation to show up in your life.
That is creating your own reality.
ANY intentional movement toward your new creation is where all your creative power lies.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Permission to Act When You are Ready
Any action taken while out of the vortex is counterproductive.
However, any decision you make can be the right decision if you make yourself feel good about the decision (getting in the vortex on that subject).
Here's an example:
When I was offered the chance to get to know my friend's horse in order to take care of the horse while my friend is on vacation, I was in the vortex and I accepted the offer with enthusiasm.
I'm an accomplished rider and have had the opportunity to ride hundreds of horses. Riding had become thought-less, instinctive, easy, exhilarating.
This horse offered unique challenges that required focus on physical alignment I was not familiar with. And many wonderful, expanding lessons!
One day I went to my lesson while feeling physically limited (another post about that!). I had had about 2 hours of sleep the night before and felt slightly unwell. Meaning out of the vortex.
I spent the lesson focusing on my lumbar spine and the horse's lumbar spine and my latissimus dorsi and vertical planes and level shoulders and inflated ribcage and placement of her right hind in relation to my right shoulder.... I got lost in feelings of confusion and pessimism then doubt then anger then inadequacy. All. The. Way. Down. The. Vibrational. Scale.
Joni, in her natural way of being, lured me back up. But I had a slippery hold on confidence.
During the intervening week, I had a feeling of dread about the next lesson. I didn't want to feel that bad again. And I didn't want to piss the horse off.
The night before my next lesson, I got a headache (which never happens!) and I awoke in the middle of the night feeling fitful and uncomfortable. I knew it was because I was feeling obligation to go to the lesson, and fear of things I felt I couldn't control.
I told myself that I would postpone the lesson if I could not get myself back into the vortex by morning. I knew that going forward with action while out of the vortex is counterproductive.
That decision got me off the hook in terms of time. I knew I could make myself feel better, but I had been feeling the pressure of time to get it done.
Small relief.
While lying awake in bed, I knew I was dealing with the bottom of the scale. Powerlessnes, inadequacy, worthiness.
I worked myself back up the scale; getting mad, then overwhelmed, then frustrated, then hopeful, then appreciative.
It only takes a few minutes for me because I am incredibly motivated and also very well-practiced with the scale.
I realized that trying to control the situation was knocking me out of the vortex, which in turn made communication with the horse impossible.
My doubt became her doubt, her confusion became my confusion, my insecurity became her insecurity.
After working up the scale the night before, during the drive to her house I made sure I was in the vortex by appreciating the drive and the weather and my husband.... Then I thought about the lesson. I established my intention: To ride in the vortex. (As a result I would ride with confidence and connection.)
I imagined that connection and how it felt.
During the ride, I focused on faith in myself, relaxation, expectation of connection, expectation of benefitting from the experience, and release of control.
The result was the ride felt amazing. It felt connected. I didn't try to make it happen. The horse responded with surprising ease. When she feel out of sync I could bring myself back easliy and she responded.
Here's the point about making decisions.
A decision made (and action taken) while in the vortex is the right decision.
A decision made out of obligation or out of a need to feel better or in spite of negative emotion will simply exaggerate the negative emotion.
If I had gone ahead with the lesson without making myself feel better first, the lesson would have made me feel even more powerless.
However, if I had not made myself feel better and declined the lesson for that day, I would have congratulated myself on recognizing the importance of lining up energy first.
However, any decision you make can be the right decision if you make yourself feel good about the decision (getting in the vortex on that subject).
Here's an example:
When I was offered the chance to get to know my friend's horse in order to take care of the horse while my friend is on vacation, I was in the vortex and I accepted the offer with enthusiasm.
I'm an accomplished rider and have had the opportunity to ride hundreds of horses. Riding had become thought-less, instinctive, easy, exhilarating.
This horse offered unique challenges that required focus on physical alignment I was not familiar with. And many wonderful, expanding lessons!
One day I went to my lesson while feeling physically limited (another post about that!). I had had about 2 hours of sleep the night before and felt slightly unwell. Meaning out of the vortex.
I spent the lesson focusing on my lumbar spine and the horse's lumbar spine and my latissimus dorsi and vertical planes and level shoulders and inflated ribcage and placement of her right hind in relation to my right shoulder.... I got lost in feelings of confusion and pessimism then doubt then anger then inadequacy. All. The. Way. Down. The. Vibrational. Scale.
Joni, in her natural way of being, lured me back up. But I had a slippery hold on confidence.
During the intervening week, I had a feeling of dread about the next lesson. I didn't want to feel that bad again. And I didn't want to piss the horse off.
The night before my next lesson, I got a headache (which never happens!) and I awoke in the middle of the night feeling fitful and uncomfortable. I knew it was because I was feeling obligation to go to the lesson, and fear of things I felt I couldn't control.
I told myself that I would postpone the lesson if I could not get myself back into the vortex by morning. I knew that going forward with action while out of the vortex is counterproductive.
That decision got me off the hook in terms of time. I knew I could make myself feel better, but I had been feeling the pressure of time to get it done.
Small relief.
While lying awake in bed, I knew I was dealing with the bottom of the scale. Powerlessnes, inadequacy, worthiness.
I worked myself back up the scale; getting mad, then overwhelmed, then frustrated, then hopeful, then appreciative.
It only takes a few minutes for me because I am incredibly motivated and also very well-practiced with the scale.
I realized that trying to control the situation was knocking me out of the vortex, which in turn made communication with the horse impossible.
My doubt became her doubt, her confusion became my confusion, my insecurity became her insecurity.
After working up the scale the night before, during the drive to her house I made sure I was in the vortex by appreciating the drive and the weather and my husband.... Then I thought about the lesson. I established my intention: To ride in the vortex. (As a result I would ride with confidence and connection.)
I imagined that connection and how it felt.
During the ride, I focused on faith in myself, relaxation, expectation of connection, expectation of benefitting from the experience, and release of control.
The result was the ride felt amazing. It felt connected. I didn't try to make it happen. The horse responded with surprising ease. When she feel out of sync I could bring myself back easliy and she responded.
Here's the point about making decisions.
A decision made (and action taken) while in the vortex is the right decision.
A decision made out of obligation or out of a need to feel better or in spite of negative emotion will simply exaggerate the negative emotion.
If I had gone ahead with the lesson without making myself feel better first, the lesson would have made me feel even more powerless.
However, if I had not made myself feel better and declined the lesson for that day, I would have congratulated myself on recognizing the importance of lining up energy first.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Exercise Your Focus
You've decided you want to feel good more than anything. You've been practicing!
You've been successful at finding things to appreciate which make you feel good.
You know when you feel good, and now, more than ever, you notice when you don't feel good.
It's time to graduate to the next level of focus.
You must learn to feel good from your thoughts alone, not just from things you are observing that feel good.
There's nothing wrong with focusing on circumstances that feel good. Keep it up. Don't stop doing that.
However, you need more than that. What happens when the circumstance changes? You can't become dependent upon what you observe, because you have no control over circumstances.
Circumstances always change, always for your benefit. (much more about that later)
But if you believe you need to have pleasant circumstances to observe in order to feel good, you will try to control those circumstances! (and we know how that turns out)
Let's illustrate an example:
You've met someone, and you're in love.
Every time you see her you feel amazing. Every time you think about her you feel so much love and appreciation. Your days are better. Your outlook is bright. You are eager. You are buoyant.
Then she breaks up with you.
You feel so much pain. You feel so sad. You feel powerless. You feel sad not just because of the current moment, but also because you believe you will continue to feel sad, and you believe you have no control over that.
Here's the truth: you feel so bad because your perception is waaay out of whack.
When you are in love, you are focused on someone in appreciation. This is a state of being that is Who You Really Are. Fantastic.
When you are in love, you are looking at yourself through her appreciative eyes. This is a state of being that is Who You Really Are. Sublime.
When you are thinking about her, you are not worrying. You're in the vortex. All is well.
When you are thinking about her, people are nicer to you. You see positive manifestations.
Not to diminish being in love in any way, and I recommend it for everyone!.... The real reason you feel so good is because you feel good about yourself, and about life in general, and about people, and about your well-being. That's what it feels like to be in the vortex.
Here's the lesson: Pay attention!: The vortex is your thoughts. Period.
Your task now is to make yourself feel good by yourself, sitting in a chair. Or standing. Or lying down. Or walking. Or driving. Whatever.
This is not meditation. Meditation is Absence of Thought. This is Brain Exercise. This is Focus.
In this task you are not accomplishing anything tangible that someone else can observe and appreciate or respond to. You are not earning money. You are not receiving positive attention. (I should say, you are not doing any of those things in a way that you can see now, but you are doing ALL those things vibrationally)
Your goal is to feel in love. Appreciative. Eager. In love with you. Limitless. In love with life. Jolly. Adventurous. Fearless. Friendly. Helpful. Energetic....
If a subject has your attention (let's stick with the loss of a girlfriend) and you are feeling a sense of powerlessness (aka: sad or self-critical, or simply without a sense of control) you will find it impossible to feel appreciation or love or eagerness or even hope on that subject.
BTW, if any subject has you feeling strong negative emotion, like powerlessness, and you ignore it, meaning you don't make yourself feel better on that subject, more and more circumstances will occur in your life that make you feel powerless.
Like a radio dial, thoughts are on different frequencies. You have no access to thoughts on a frequency that are far from the one you are on.
You also have no access to what you really want if you stay tuned to a negative frequency. (Everything that manifests in your life is a perfect vibrational match to your chronic thoughts)
The nearest upward vibration is Jealousy. Yes, Jealousy feels better than sadness. Jealousy is full of energy. Sadness and powerlessness feel devoid of energy.
If you don't feel jealous, skip it. If you do, grab it!
The frequency that is the farthest up the Scale you can leap from sadness or inadequacy or powerlessness or guilt or depression is Anger.
The trek up the vibrational scale means you feel progressively better and better as you think thoughts that feel better.
Anger feels much better than sadness. It gives you some of your power back., which feels so much better that powerlessness. Blame feels better still. Revenge is life-giving!
Keep in mind, you are by yourself. You are only thinking thoughts of anger, not acting upon them.
Think of a reason to be angry at the girl who dumped you. It doesn't matter whether it's justified or fair or particularly rational. It only matters that you actually feel angry at her or at someone related to the circumstance (NOT YOU) for a moment.
It's important to note here that anger is an improvement on thoughts of sadness, but it is not an improvement on thoughts of disappointment or pessimism, for instance. Those emotions are much higher in frequency, so anger would be going in the wrong direction on the vibrational scale.
You know that if a thought gives you a sense of relief you are headed in the right direction.
If you find a thought of anger and it feels pretty good, think of a thought of less anger, or jump up to a thought of blame if you can. Then it should be easy to find a thought of frustration. Better still.
Keep going. Contentment is a state of acceptance of the way things are, with no resistance. Making peace with what is. The farther you go up the Vibrational Scale, the less pronounced the feelings of relief, but you should still be reaching for relief. This is not pretend. These are not just words. These thoughts are actually changing how you really feel and changing your point of attraction.
Contentment to Optimism to Belief to Appreciation. You can get that far in 20 minutes. Or a week if you prefer to linger in the intoxicating juice of blame or revenge. Again, these are thoughts that benefit you if you are pulling yourself out of powerlessness. They are not plans to act upon!
When you realize you can feel good under any circumstance, you begin to get a glimpse of how powerful and limitless you really are.
As I've said before, watch what happens!
You've been successful at finding things to appreciate which make you feel good.
You know when you feel good, and now, more than ever, you notice when you don't feel good.
It's time to graduate to the next level of focus.
You must learn to feel good from your thoughts alone, not just from things you are observing that feel good.
There's nothing wrong with focusing on circumstances that feel good. Keep it up. Don't stop doing that.
However, you need more than that. What happens when the circumstance changes? You can't become dependent upon what you observe, because you have no control over circumstances.
Circumstances always change, always for your benefit. (much more about that later)
But if you believe you need to have pleasant circumstances to observe in order to feel good, you will try to control those circumstances! (and we know how that turns out)
Let's illustrate an example:
You've met someone, and you're in love.
Every time you see her you feel amazing. Every time you think about her you feel so much love and appreciation. Your days are better. Your outlook is bright. You are eager. You are buoyant.
Then she breaks up with you.
You feel so much pain. You feel so sad. You feel powerless. You feel sad not just because of the current moment, but also because you believe you will continue to feel sad, and you believe you have no control over that.
Here's the truth: you feel so bad because your perception is waaay out of whack.
When you are in love, you are focused on someone in appreciation. This is a state of being that is Who You Really Are. Fantastic.
When you are in love, you are looking at yourself through her appreciative eyes. This is a state of being that is Who You Really Are. Sublime.
When you are thinking about her, you are not worrying. You're in the vortex. All is well.
When you are thinking about her, people are nicer to you. You see positive manifestations.
Not to diminish being in love in any way, and I recommend it for everyone!.... The real reason you feel so good is because you feel good about yourself, and about life in general, and about people, and about your well-being. That's what it feels like to be in the vortex.
Here's the lesson: Pay attention!: The vortex is your thoughts. Period.
Your task now is to make yourself feel good by yourself, sitting in a chair. Or standing. Or lying down. Or walking. Or driving. Whatever.
This is not meditation. Meditation is Absence of Thought. This is Brain Exercise. This is Focus.
In this task you are not accomplishing anything tangible that someone else can observe and appreciate or respond to. You are not earning money. You are not receiving positive attention. (I should say, you are not doing any of those things in a way that you can see now, but you are doing ALL those things vibrationally)
Your goal is to feel in love. Appreciative. Eager. In love with you. Limitless. In love with life. Jolly. Adventurous. Fearless. Friendly. Helpful. Energetic....
If a subject has your attention (let's stick with the loss of a girlfriend) and you are feeling a sense of powerlessness (aka: sad or self-critical, or simply without a sense of control) you will find it impossible to feel appreciation or love or eagerness or even hope on that subject.
BTW, if any subject has you feeling strong negative emotion, like powerlessness, and you ignore it, meaning you don't make yourself feel better on that subject, more and more circumstances will occur in your life that make you feel powerless.
Like a radio dial, thoughts are on different frequencies. You have no access to thoughts on a frequency that are far from the one you are on.
You also have no access to what you really want if you stay tuned to a negative frequency. (Everything that manifests in your life is a perfect vibrational match to your chronic thoughts)
The nearest upward vibration is Jealousy. Yes, Jealousy feels better than sadness. Jealousy is full of energy. Sadness and powerlessness feel devoid of energy.
If you don't feel jealous, skip it. If you do, grab it!
The frequency that is the farthest up the Scale you can leap from sadness or inadequacy or powerlessness or guilt or depression is Anger.
The trek up the vibrational scale means you feel progressively better and better as you think thoughts that feel better.
Anger feels much better than sadness. It gives you some of your power back., which feels so much better that powerlessness. Blame feels better still. Revenge is life-giving!
Keep in mind, you are by yourself. You are only thinking thoughts of anger, not acting upon them.
Think of a reason to be angry at the girl who dumped you. It doesn't matter whether it's justified or fair or particularly rational. It only matters that you actually feel angry at her or at someone related to the circumstance (NOT YOU) for a moment.
It's important to note here that anger is an improvement on thoughts of sadness, but it is not an improvement on thoughts of disappointment or pessimism, for instance. Those emotions are much higher in frequency, so anger would be going in the wrong direction on the vibrational scale.
You know that if a thought gives you a sense of relief you are headed in the right direction.
If you find a thought of anger and it feels pretty good, think of a thought of less anger, or jump up to a thought of blame if you can. Then it should be easy to find a thought of frustration. Better still.
Keep going. Contentment is a state of acceptance of the way things are, with no resistance. Making peace with what is. The farther you go up the Vibrational Scale, the less pronounced the feelings of relief, but you should still be reaching for relief. This is not pretend. These are not just words. These thoughts are actually changing how you really feel and changing your point of attraction.
Contentment to Optimism to Belief to Appreciation. You can get that far in 20 minutes. Or a week if you prefer to linger in the intoxicating juice of blame or revenge. Again, these are thoughts that benefit you if you are pulling yourself out of powerlessness. They are not plans to act upon!
When you realize you can feel good under any circumstance, you begin to get a glimpse of how powerful and limitless you really are.
As I've said before, watch what happens!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Controlling the Uncontrollable
You can't control the uncontrollable. And everything is uncontrollable.
You try to control the behavior of your kids.
You try to control the behavior of your employees.
You try to control your mate.
You try to control how others feel about you.
You try to control your personal security.
You try to control your 'limited' resources.
You try to control your freedom.
None of those things are controllable by your worries or by your actions.
All of these things become exaggerated by your attention to them, or by your awareness of lack of control in general.
Conversely, all of these things take care of themselves when you control the only thing you can control: Your emotions.; aka; your mood, your perceptions, your state of mind.
How do you control emotions, mood, perceptions, state of mind....?
Decide you want to.
You try to control the behavior of your kids.
You try to control the behavior of your employees.
You try to control your mate.
You try to control how others feel about you.
You try to control your personal security.
You try to control your 'limited' resources.
You try to control your freedom.
None of those things are controllable by your worries or by your actions.
All of these things become exaggerated by your attention to them, or by your awareness of lack of control in general.
Conversely, all of these things take care of themselves when you control the only thing you can control: Your emotions.; aka; your mood, your perceptions, your state of mind.
How do you control emotions, mood, perceptions, state of mind....?
Decide you want to.
More Why?.... Irritation
Why should I bother adjusting such a minor, normal, frequent negative emotion like irritation?
You think:
Irritation is the fuel behind my words to others to get them to change their behavior. (see Unconditional Love, or Controlling the Uncontrollable)
Irritation is my jolt of "rightness," which makes me feel better about myself (because they are wrong, and more importantly, I am right).
Irritation is my Gatling gun of control.
Every minute of every day you are either attracting negative manifestations or positive manifestations depending upon whether you are 'in the vortex' (Hopeful or above) or 'out of the vortex', (Bored or below).
It doesn't matter how minor the negative emotion, you are still attracting negatively.
Another way to put it; What you resist persists.
But more importantly to you, you are making positive manifestations inaccessible.
Make peace with whatever irritating thing has your attention. It is what it is. You cannot control it.
Once you've made peace you can easily make yourself feel a little better about it.
That's all you have to do. (Several times a day about different subjects at first)
The payoff is: Now you feel better.
And by the way, then the irritating things magically go away.
And you feel better.
And when you consistently feel better.... watch what happens.
You think:
Irritation is the fuel behind my words to others to get them to change their behavior. (see Unconditional Love, or Controlling the Uncontrollable)
Irritation is my jolt of "rightness," which makes me feel better about myself (because they are wrong, and more importantly, I am right).
Irritation is my Gatling gun of control.
Every minute of every day you are either attracting negative manifestations or positive manifestations depending upon whether you are 'in the vortex' (Hopeful or above) or 'out of the vortex', (Bored or below).
It doesn't matter how minor the negative emotion, you are still attracting negatively.
Another way to put it; What you resist persists.
But more importantly to you, you are making positive manifestations inaccessible.
Make peace with whatever irritating thing has your attention. It is what it is. You cannot control it.
Once you've made peace you can easily make yourself feel a little better about it.
That's all you have to do. (Several times a day about different subjects at first)
The payoff is: Now you feel better.
And by the way, then the irritating things magically go away.
And you feel better.
And when you consistently feel better.... watch what happens.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Why?
Why do you want to monitor your feelings and adjust your thoughts to feel good on purpose?
Because that is what you are here for. (Actually you are here for the purpose of expansion --the inevitable result of your focus on desires -- and for joy--- the result of allowing the solution)
Every consciousness, from a single-celled amoeba to a plant to a human, encounters conditions which inspire a desire for improvement. That observance of something unwanted (called 'contrast') creates the equal and opposite solution to the problem. (There is far more to be said about how that works, but for the purpose of simplicity we'll leave it at that for now).
What you think about is what you get. What you believe is proven to you again and again.
Common disincentives to stop focusing on negative thoughts (which upon release would thereby allow positive thoughts):
(Sheesh: that sounds like a triple negative statement! In other words: Why do you keep worrying?)
1.) The negative circumstance is so compelling! It is right there. It's 'real.' You can see it and smell it and touch it... People are talking about it.
2.) Law of Attraction is bringing you thoughts and more circumstances that match the tactile reality of the unwanted situation.
3.) Everyone in your life has taught you to confront problems. Solve them. Tackle them. Overcome them. Fight against them. Avoid them. Judge yourself by them.
4.) There is excitement in fighting a problem. (a false sense of temporary power over circumstances)
Sometimes also known as: drama
5.) The lure of being 'right' is more compelling than letting it go. (lots more about that later)
6.) You don't know you can stop.
7.) You don't know you must do so if you want the joyful life you came for.
Why should I focus my thoughts to feel good?
1.) Because it feels good.
2.) Because it is who you really are. (Free and loving an creative and excited and inspiring and inspired...., as opposed to worried and fearful and guarded and critical...)
3.) Because you will receive the solutions to each and every problem.
4.) Because you will live the unlimited, expansive life you came to lead and experience, exponentially, more improvements for yourself and everyone you encounter.
5.) Because you will inspire others by your example.
6.) Because you will uplift others by your mere presence.
7.) Because it hurts not to.
Because that is what you are here for. (Actually you are here for the purpose of expansion --the inevitable result of your focus on desires -- and for joy--- the result of allowing the solution)
Every consciousness, from a single-celled amoeba to a plant to a human, encounters conditions which inspire a desire for improvement. That observance of something unwanted (called 'contrast') creates the equal and opposite solution to the problem. (There is far more to be said about how that works, but for the purpose of simplicity we'll leave it at that for now).
What you think about is what you get. What you believe is proven to you again and again.
Common disincentives to stop focusing on negative thoughts (which upon release would thereby allow positive thoughts):
(Sheesh: that sounds like a triple negative statement! In other words: Why do you keep worrying?)
1.) The negative circumstance is so compelling! It is right there. It's 'real.' You can see it and smell it and touch it... People are talking about it.
2.) Law of Attraction is bringing you thoughts and more circumstances that match the tactile reality of the unwanted situation.
3.) Everyone in your life has taught you to confront problems. Solve them. Tackle them. Overcome them. Fight against them. Avoid them. Judge yourself by them.
4.) There is excitement in fighting a problem. (a false sense of temporary power over circumstances)
Sometimes also known as: drama
5.) The lure of being 'right' is more compelling than letting it go. (lots more about that later)
6.) You don't know you can stop.
7.) You don't know you must do so if you want the joyful life you came for.
Why should I focus my thoughts to feel good?
1.) Because it feels good.
2.) Because it is who you really are. (Free and loving an creative and excited and inspiring and inspired...., as opposed to worried and fearful and guarded and critical...)
3.) Because you will receive the solutions to each and every problem.
4.) Because you will live the unlimited, expansive life you came to lead and experience, exponentially, more improvements for yourself and everyone you encounter.
5.) Because you will inspire others by your example.
6.) Because you will uplift others by your mere presence.
7.) Because it hurts not to.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Focus
A distraught person says, "My mate has left me and I am so sad." Or "My piano was repossessed, and I am so sad." Or, 'My dog died, and I am so sad."
You are not sad because you have lost something you love.
You are sad because you are a 'circumstantial' focuser.
You are sad because you rely upon circumstances to make you feel good, and you don't know how to feel good without them. It is as if you have a reliable crutch, and without the crutch you believe you will fall and suffer great pain.
I understand why you might think there is cause and effect there, but that is not so.
When you focus on your mate and feel his loving gaze, you feel wonderful.
When you focus on playing the piano and feel blissful, you credit the piano.
When you focus on your dog and feel unconditional love, you feel so good.
Pay attention to the very important and distinct difference here: It is not your mate, it is not the piano, it is not your dog that feels so good.
It is that when you are focused on those things, you are not worrying. You are being who you really are, which feels fantastic.
Your natural state of being is loving, appreciative, happy... unless you are thinking about something to worry about.
Once you learn how to stop worrying, which means letting go of the idea of controlling people or circumstances and believing in universal well-being, you are no longer at the mercy of ANY outside circumstance.
When you learn how to focus your thoughts on purpose, you will have hundreds of thoughts you can focus on that will bring you back to the natural state of who you really are in a matter of seconds. Paradoxically, when you don't need things around you to appreciate, you will then be surrounded by more and more things to appreciate.
Once you realize everything that happens is contributing to your well-being, you lose all fear, you feel eager and appreciative, and never, ever at a loss about anything.
You are not sad because you have lost something you love.
You are sad because you are a 'circumstantial' focuser.
You are sad because you rely upon circumstances to make you feel good, and you don't know how to feel good without them. It is as if you have a reliable crutch, and without the crutch you believe you will fall and suffer great pain.
I understand why you might think there is cause and effect there, but that is not so.
When you focus on your mate and feel his loving gaze, you feel wonderful.
When you focus on playing the piano and feel blissful, you credit the piano.
When you focus on your dog and feel unconditional love, you feel so good.
Pay attention to the very important and distinct difference here: It is not your mate, it is not the piano, it is not your dog that feels so good.
It is that when you are focused on those things, you are not worrying. You are being who you really are, which feels fantastic.
Your natural state of being is loving, appreciative, happy... unless you are thinking about something to worry about.
Once you learn how to stop worrying, which means letting go of the idea of controlling people or circumstances and believing in universal well-being, you are no longer at the mercy of ANY outside circumstance.
When you learn how to focus your thoughts on purpose, you will have hundreds of thoughts you can focus on that will bring you back to the natural state of who you really are in a matter of seconds. Paradoxically, when you don't need things around you to appreciate, you will then be surrounded by more and more things to appreciate.
Once you realize everything that happens is contributing to your well-being, you lose all fear, you feel eager and appreciative, and never, ever at a loss about anything.
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