The easiest way to follow through with your intention to feel good is to look for things to appreciate.
All day, notice and tell yourself how much you appreciate.....The weather, the smoothly moving traffic, a smiling face, a friendly exchange, a discount, a funny comment on the radio, a great song, a beautiful building, a good parking spot (or a nice walk), your healthy body, the efficient, clean elevators, the cleaners who worked last night, another smiling face, your work skills, others' skills, a delicious lunch, the light fixtures, the view out the window, an easy solution, your comfy chair, the efficiency of a transaction, a new idea, cell phones, Facebook, a fun conversation with a friend, your car, your ability to focus, your house, your kids, your mate, your pet, your dinner, a funny TV show, your pillow...
That simple, intentional directing of your thoughts will tap you in to who you really are. Who you really are is a loving, appreciative, fully-present person who radiates good will.
It will make you feel good. It will condition you to look at life differently. As you enjoy how it feels to feel good, more and more things to appreciate will show up in your life.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Practical Application, Day to Day
You are either 'in the vortex' or 'out of the vortex' in any moment.
Most people spend their days responding to what they are seeing. Some things you observe feel good, some feel bad. A typical day is spent in and out, in and out of the 'vortex' (the state of being that feels good).
For most people, the majority of time is spent out, meaning not feeling good, but you don't even realize you don't feel good because you have grown accustomed to it.
For example:
You notice the kids haven't picked up their clothes. (irritation)
You talk to your mate about a project that's not going well. (disappointment)
You talk to a colleague about a work policy neither of you likes but can't change. (pessimism)
You comiserate with a friend about her boyfriend's bad behavior. (doubt, disappointment)
You sit through a meeting you can't pay attention to. (impatience, boredom)
You noticing something you forgot to do (self-criticism).......
Stronger negative circumstances that seem to be out of your control:
Waiting in traffic (irritated, worried, or angry)
Thwarted by a colleague's ineptitude (blame)
Regretting one's own mistake (embarrassment, guilt)
Bills in the mail (worry, fear)
Watching the news (discouragement, worry, fear)
Talking about someone's cancer diagnosis. (worry, fear, powerlessness)
You now know (if you've gained some understanding of Law of Attraction) that you have control over how you feel, with a small temporary exception. When you encounter something unwanted, called 'contrast' you will be knocked out of the vortex momentarily and feel negative emotion. That negative emotion is necessary for the launching of the solution to that problem.
However, a moment is all you need. As soon as you recognize you've been knocked out of the vortex you can do these things:
1) Acknowledge that however large or small the negative circumstance, it is merely an indicator of your chronic thought. Change the thought pattern, and in time the circumstance will change.
2) Recognize that the solution to the problem is created in the moment the problem appears, and when you let go of the problem the solution will present itself.
3) Acknowledge your only job now is to get back in the vortex (make yourself feel better) by whatever easiest means you can think of. (See previous posts entitled How...1,2 and 3, or Practical Application, or Tools, or read Ask and It Is Given or The Astonishing Power of Emotions or The Power of Intention on the reading list)
When I was starting out in the practice of intentionally adjusting how I felt, I made myself a long list of options to use to make myself feel better:
At first, my most frequent go-to tactic was reading books or listening to tapes about Law of Attraction. It always made me feel good, no matter what.
Doing one of the exercises in the Abraham-Hicks books, like Moving up the Vibrational Scale, or the Focus Wheel also made me feel good.
Looking for things to appreciate, going for hikes, listening to music, petting the cat, meditating, a hot bubble bath, making lists of positive aspects ...
Another favorite, especially when driving or when going to sleep is the ABC exercise. Relax, breathe in, then think of a good-feeling word that starts with A. Appreciate. Then think of a good-feeling word that starts with B. Bliss, etc. By the time you get to N you will be on a great-feeling high.
By the way, this exercise is even more fun to do if you first bring to mind a situation in your past that felt wonderful. A sailing trip, your wedding, a prize you won, an especially fun day.... Then while you are picturing those scenes from the past, it's so easy to evoke those good feelings.
Approach your days like this:
Intend to feel good.
Notice when you don't, and adjust. No judgement, just information.
Here's the thing: Your goal is to spend 90% of your time in the vortex and 10% out.
Your life will feel amazing. Your wants and desires will fall in your lap. And during that 10% spent out (observing things you would like to be better) you are expanding, and that's good.
Most people spend their days responding to what they are seeing. Some things you observe feel good, some feel bad. A typical day is spent in and out, in and out of the 'vortex' (the state of being that feels good).
For most people, the majority of time is spent out, meaning not feeling good, but you don't even realize you don't feel good because you have grown accustomed to it.
For example:
You notice the kids haven't picked up their clothes. (irritation)
You talk to your mate about a project that's not going well. (disappointment)
You talk to a colleague about a work policy neither of you likes but can't change. (pessimism)
You comiserate with a friend about her boyfriend's bad behavior. (doubt, disappointment)
You sit through a meeting you can't pay attention to. (impatience, boredom)
You noticing something you forgot to do (self-criticism).......
Stronger negative circumstances that seem to be out of your control:
Waiting in traffic (irritated, worried, or angry)
Thwarted by a colleague's ineptitude (blame)
Regretting one's own mistake (embarrassment, guilt)
Bills in the mail (worry, fear)
Watching the news (discouragement, worry, fear)
Talking about someone's cancer diagnosis. (worry, fear, powerlessness)
You now know (if you've gained some understanding of Law of Attraction) that you have control over how you feel, with a small temporary exception. When you encounter something unwanted, called 'contrast' you will be knocked out of the vortex momentarily and feel negative emotion. That negative emotion is necessary for the launching of the solution to that problem.
However, a moment is all you need. As soon as you recognize you've been knocked out of the vortex you can do these things:
1) Acknowledge that however large or small the negative circumstance, it is merely an indicator of your chronic thought. Change the thought pattern, and in time the circumstance will change.
2) Recognize that the solution to the problem is created in the moment the problem appears, and when you let go of the problem the solution will present itself.
3) Acknowledge your only job now is to get back in the vortex (make yourself feel better) by whatever easiest means you can think of. (See previous posts entitled How...1,2 and 3, or Practical Application, or Tools, or read Ask and It Is Given or The Astonishing Power of Emotions or The Power of Intention on the reading list)
When I was starting out in the practice of intentionally adjusting how I felt, I made myself a long list of options to use to make myself feel better:
At first, my most frequent go-to tactic was reading books or listening to tapes about Law of Attraction. It always made me feel good, no matter what.
Doing one of the exercises in the Abraham-Hicks books, like Moving up the Vibrational Scale, or the Focus Wheel also made me feel good.
Looking for things to appreciate, going for hikes, listening to music, petting the cat, meditating, a hot bubble bath, making lists of positive aspects ...
Another favorite, especially when driving or when going to sleep is the ABC exercise. Relax, breathe in, then think of a good-feeling word that starts with A. Appreciate. Then think of a good-feeling word that starts with B. Bliss, etc. By the time you get to N you will be on a great-feeling high.
By the way, this exercise is even more fun to do if you first bring to mind a situation in your past that felt wonderful. A sailing trip, your wedding, a prize you won, an especially fun day.... Then while you are picturing those scenes from the past, it's so easy to evoke those good feelings.
Approach your days like this:
Intend to feel good.
Notice when you don't, and adjust. No judgement, just information.
Here's the thing: Your goal is to spend 90% of your time in the vortex and 10% out.
Your life will feel amazing. Your wants and desires will fall in your lap. And during that 10% spent out (observing things you would like to be better) you are expanding, and that's good.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Practical Application
When you have a problem that is taking your attention and making you feel strong negative emotion, like fear or worry, your impulse is to take action to solve the problem. You try to think it into submission. You try to come up with solutions. You try to come up with actions to take to prevent it from happening, or to make it go away.
All of those things you do are the result of many years of conditioning, and are a reflection of a belief in the need to control people or circumstances, and often also include a belief in scarcity.
A belief is only a thought you keep thinking.
Also, when you focus on a subject, Law of Attraction naturally delivers to you more thoughts that match, so it feels as if your thoughts have run away with you. It's true, they have.
However, when you focus on a subject of well-being or hope, Law of Attraction delivers more thoughts that feel the same, so you are then on a good-feeling rampage instead of a bad-feeling rampage.
If you decide to focus your thoughts on purpose, you can feel wonderful without changing the circumstance. And then the circumstance must change.
Let's say you have a sudden financial crisis. Money has always been a struggle, and now that a cascade of new expenses has arisen it feels even worse than ever and you can only see pain and struggle coming.
First, notice how it feels. If you are a wordophile like me, (yes I just made that up, but I like it) look at the Vibrational Scale to see if you can identify the word that comes closest to how you feel.
Otherwise, just notice how bad it feels to focus on money.
Second, back up a little bit, tell yourself something in general terms that makes you feel a little bit better. It will feel like a small sensation of relief.
For instance: "We're fine right now. We've always been fine. We do have a wonderful home. We have plenty of food. It will all work itself out. I don't have to know the answer right now."
If a statement gives you a small sense of relief, it has worked. You have shifted your point of attraction. If it feels good, keep reaching for better-feeling statements.
If you haven't felt any shift yet, keep reaching for a thought that feels a little better on the subject of money.
Once you have shifted your emotion on the subject, leave it alone. Go to other subjects that feel good.
Once you know you can make yourself feel better about a subject, and once you have made yourself feel really good by focusing on other, good-feeling subjects, you can address the money issue again and raise your positive expectation about it further and further until it becomes a non-issue for the rest of your life.
When you feel good, you are 'in the vortex,' meaning you are feeling the positive emotions at the top section of the Vibrational Scale. When you are in the vortex, you are attracting all the circumstances and events that match those emotions. You are either in or out of the vortex in any moment.
You don't have to become hypervigilant over every moment! Just notice when you are in a bad mood, or are feeling negative emotion of any kind, and decide that you want to feel better.
It only takes 17 seconds for a thought to attract another thought like it. Stay there for 68 seconds and you are attracting positive manifestations. How many minutes are there in a day? During how many of them are you in the vortex?
As soon as you experience the thrill of feeling better, you will begin to see negative circumstance disappear. Very quickly!
Recap:
1) Decide being 'in the vortex' is the most important thing
2) Notice when you don't feel good. Make a statement or two or twelve that makes you feel better on the subject you were just thinking about.
3) Distract yourself by focusing on anything else that feels good.
4) Repeat.
Next post will be about daily tricks and adjustments to get back in the vortex easily and repeatedly.
All of those things you do are the result of many years of conditioning, and are a reflection of a belief in the need to control people or circumstances, and often also include a belief in scarcity.
A belief is only a thought you keep thinking.
Also, when you focus on a subject, Law of Attraction naturally delivers to you more thoughts that match, so it feels as if your thoughts have run away with you. It's true, they have.
However, when you focus on a subject of well-being or hope, Law of Attraction delivers more thoughts that feel the same, so you are then on a good-feeling rampage instead of a bad-feeling rampage.
If you decide to focus your thoughts on purpose, you can feel wonderful without changing the circumstance. And then the circumstance must change.
Let's say you have a sudden financial crisis. Money has always been a struggle, and now that a cascade of new expenses has arisen it feels even worse than ever and you can only see pain and struggle coming.
First, notice how it feels. If you are a wordophile like me, (yes I just made that up, but I like it) look at the Vibrational Scale to see if you can identify the word that comes closest to how you feel.
Otherwise, just notice how bad it feels to focus on money.
Second, back up a little bit, tell yourself something in general terms that makes you feel a little bit better. It will feel like a small sensation of relief.
For instance: "We're fine right now. We've always been fine. We do have a wonderful home. We have plenty of food. It will all work itself out. I don't have to know the answer right now."
If a statement gives you a small sense of relief, it has worked. You have shifted your point of attraction. If it feels good, keep reaching for better-feeling statements.
If you haven't felt any shift yet, keep reaching for a thought that feels a little better on the subject of money.
Once you have shifted your emotion on the subject, leave it alone. Go to other subjects that feel good.
Once you know you can make yourself feel better about a subject, and once you have made yourself feel really good by focusing on other, good-feeling subjects, you can address the money issue again and raise your positive expectation about it further and further until it becomes a non-issue for the rest of your life.
When you feel good, you are 'in the vortex,' meaning you are feeling the positive emotions at the top section of the Vibrational Scale. When you are in the vortex, you are attracting all the circumstances and events that match those emotions. You are either in or out of the vortex in any moment.
You don't have to become hypervigilant over every moment! Just notice when you are in a bad mood, or are feeling negative emotion of any kind, and decide that you want to feel better.
It only takes 17 seconds for a thought to attract another thought like it. Stay there for 68 seconds and you are attracting positive manifestations. How many minutes are there in a day? During how many of them are you in the vortex?
As soon as you experience the thrill of feeling better, you will begin to see negative circumstance disappear. Very quickly!
Recap:
1) Decide being 'in the vortex' is the most important thing
2) Notice when you don't feel good. Make a statement or two or twelve that makes you feel better on the subject you were just thinking about.
3) Distract yourself by focusing on anything else that feels good.
4) Repeat.
Next post will be about daily tricks and adjustments to get back in the vortex easily and repeatedly.
Monday, September 26, 2011
"Limitations"
For the sake of telling this story I'll explain what I mean by being 'In the Vortex'
When you feel appreciative, loving, eager, passionate, knowing, secure, happy.... you are in the Vortex, meaning you are on the frequency of who you really are and everything is right with the world.
Two nights ago, I stayed up very late. 2:00, 3:00, 4:00am. I was having a lot of fun writing and being quiet. When that happens I feel fantastic and new ideas flood my brain. I'm 'in the Vortex.'
Especially after everyone else is asleep, I can reach a state of pure happiness that I call "Blissing out." It is simply sitting in a quiet room being flooded by thoughts of appreciation and fun and love and amazement.
Sometimes, like that night, a series of thoughts occur to me that kick me out of the vortex: "I'm not going to get enough sleep. I'm not going to feel good tomorrow. Staying up all night is not okay...."
That night I decided that those negative thoughts were not worth maintaining.
I knew from previous experience that if I had negative thoughts about staying up all night but stayed up anyway, I didn't feel good the next day.
However, I had also had many experiences of happily staying up late, getting up early, and feeling amazing the next day.
I thought, "What is the emotion I feel when I think those negative thoughts?"
I thought, these thoughts feel limiting, because I believe there are only so many hours to sleep, and if I don't sleep I will feel bad, and daylight hours tomorrow will be wasted by inactivity and sleepiness..., and if I don't feel good I will be out of the vortex, and time in the vortex is valuable, and if I don't feel good I will diminish my physical acuity, etc, etc.
Hmmm. If I feel such a strong sense of limitation now, that must mean I've been thinking this thought before...
Are there other thoughts I've been having that feel like limitation?
I could hardly keep up with the list that spewed out of my mind. I feel limited about clothes and about travel and about friends, about choices and about blah blah blah...
Holy moley! I had no idea I was thinking these tiny negative thoughts many times a day. Thank goodness! Now I know.
Thoughts of limitation prevent abundance. No matter how tiny and seemingly insignificant, or how seemingly unrelated the subjects; thoughts of limitation affect your belief in the flow of money and of opportunities and of relationships and of time and of self worth....
Okay, now what? I recognize that I'm having strong negative thoughts about limitation and that it's been a recurring theme in my mind.
It's funny, because the moment I realized what I had been thinking and I recognized it as an insidious habit, I felt relief. I knew the mere acknowledgement of the trend was an easy map to reversing it.
That alone is a big, permanent shift in vibration.
I did a Take The Bounce exercise. What is the opposite of limitation? Freedom.
What does freedom feel like? I thought about the word, then went through a long, long list of reasons I feel free, some of which were these:
I'm free to think whatever I want. I'm free to feel good whenever I want. I'm free to schedule my day. I'm free from worry. I'm free to love, even those who seem unlovable. I'm free to go hiking every day. I'm free to be myself all the time.
All sense of limitation was evaporated. That feels incredible.
When you feel appreciative, loving, eager, passionate, knowing, secure, happy.... you are in the Vortex, meaning you are on the frequency of who you really are and everything is right with the world.
Two nights ago, I stayed up very late. 2:00, 3:00, 4:00am. I was having a lot of fun writing and being quiet. When that happens I feel fantastic and new ideas flood my brain. I'm 'in the Vortex.'
Especially after everyone else is asleep, I can reach a state of pure happiness that I call "Blissing out." It is simply sitting in a quiet room being flooded by thoughts of appreciation and fun and love and amazement.
Sometimes, like that night, a series of thoughts occur to me that kick me out of the vortex: "I'm not going to get enough sleep. I'm not going to feel good tomorrow. Staying up all night is not okay...."
That night I decided that those negative thoughts were not worth maintaining.
I knew from previous experience that if I had negative thoughts about staying up all night but stayed up anyway, I didn't feel good the next day.
However, I had also had many experiences of happily staying up late, getting up early, and feeling amazing the next day.
I thought, "What is the emotion I feel when I think those negative thoughts?"
I thought, these thoughts feel limiting, because I believe there are only so many hours to sleep, and if I don't sleep I will feel bad, and daylight hours tomorrow will be wasted by inactivity and sleepiness..., and if I don't feel good I will be out of the vortex, and time in the vortex is valuable, and if I don't feel good I will diminish my physical acuity, etc, etc.
Hmmm. If I feel such a strong sense of limitation now, that must mean I've been thinking this thought before...
Are there other thoughts I've been having that feel like limitation?
I could hardly keep up with the list that spewed out of my mind. I feel limited about clothes and about travel and about friends, about choices and about blah blah blah...
Holy moley! I had no idea I was thinking these tiny negative thoughts many times a day. Thank goodness! Now I know.
Thoughts of limitation prevent abundance. No matter how tiny and seemingly insignificant, or how seemingly unrelated the subjects; thoughts of limitation affect your belief in the flow of money and of opportunities and of relationships and of time and of self worth....
Okay, now what? I recognize that I'm having strong negative thoughts about limitation and that it's been a recurring theme in my mind.
It's funny, because the moment I realized what I had been thinking and I recognized it as an insidious habit, I felt relief. I knew the mere acknowledgement of the trend was an easy map to reversing it.
That alone is a big, permanent shift in vibration.
I did a Take The Bounce exercise. What is the opposite of limitation? Freedom.
What does freedom feel like? I thought about the word, then went through a long, long list of reasons I feel free, some of which were these:
I'm free to think whatever I want. I'm free to feel good whenever I want. I'm free to schedule my day. I'm free from worry. I'm free to love, even those who seem unlovable. I'm free to go hiking every day. I'm free to be myself all the time.
All sense of limitation was evaporated. That feels incredible.
Monday, September 19, 2011
The Riding Lesson of Life
My amazing friend Joni asked me if I would work with her horse while she is on vacation next month. She said she had developed a new method of teaching riding that is based on Law of Attraction.
Are you kidding me? I'm in!
We agreed to trade riding lessons for my care of her horse.
I had a riding lesson from her today that was such a perfect metaphor for Law of Attraction.
I'll paraphrase what Joni said about the way the lesson would go:
"Decide what you want and know it will happen."
"Have no attachment to how or when it will happen."
"Learn from what happens. No judgement."
In the lesson, there are very specific physical requirements of the rider that make the horse comfortable and make the lines of communication clear. Once those lines are open, the experience is almost all thought and communication between the horse and rider.
The post I wrote yesterday was about how your negative thoughts get more and more subtle, so it becomes more important to fine-tune yourself to be more sensitive to their existence and to let them go.
"Learn from what happens. No judgement."
I was trained to give certain signals to horses to tell them where to go and what to do.
This lesson involved no signals whatsoever. Simply intention and balance.
When I was on the horse and I unwittingly had a tiny thought of doubt or self-criticism, the lines of communication would get fuzzy and the horse would get slightly uncomfortable and start to move in a disconnected way. She veered off course. Meanwhile, she sent me extremely subtle signals that said, "you're out of balance." I corrected my balance, in my mind and in my body, then launched into appreciative thoughts for the horse (back into the vortex!), and she'd respond by radiating ease and pleasure and comfort, and connection with me, and then moved precisely where I had intended in my mind. What a freaking thrill that was!
"Have no attachment to how or when it will happen." When something isn't working, stop, and realize you are trying to make it happen. Get back in the vortex, because you are inevitably out, and feel good again by dropping whatever negative thought you just had, and watch what happens.
All of those statements are true about every aspect of your life. Decide what you want and know it will happen. Have no attachment to how or when it will happen. Learn from (and appreciate!) what happens; no judgement.
Are you kidding me? I'm in!
We agreed to trade riding lessons for my care of her horse.
I had a riding lesson from her today that was such a perfect metaphor for Law of Attraction.
I'll paraphrase what Joni said about the way the lesson would go:
"Decide what you want and know it will happen."
"Have no attachment to how or when it will happen."
"Learn from what happens. No judgement."
In the lesson, there are very specific physical requirements of the rider that make the horse comfortable and make the lines of communication clear. Once those lines are open, the experience is almost all thought and communication between the horse and rider.
The post I wrote yesterday was about how your negative thoughts get more and more subtle, so it becomes more important to fine-tune yourself to be more sensitive to their existence and to let them go.
"Learn from what happens. No judgement."
I was trained to give certain signals to horses to tell them where to go and what to do.
This lesson involved no signals whatsoever. Simply intention and balance.
When I was on the horse and I unwittingly had a tiny thought of doubt or self-criticism, the lines of communication would get fuzzy and the horse would get slightly uncomfortable and start to move in a disconnected way. She veered off course. Meanwhile, she sent me extremely subtle signals that said, "you're out of balance." I corrected my balance, in my mind and in my body, then launched into appreciative thoughts for the horse (back into the vortex!), and she'd respond by radiating ease and pleasure and comfort, and connection with me, and then moved precisely where I had intended in my mind. What a freaking thrill that was!
"Have no attachment to how or when it will happen." When something isn't working, stop, and realize you are trying to make it happen. Get back in the vortex, because you are inevitably out, and feel good again by dropping whatever negative thought you just had, and watch what happens.
All of those statements are true about every aspect of your life. Decide what you want and know it will happen. Have no attachment to how or when it will happen. Learn from (and appreciate!) what happens; no judgement.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Three People, One Manifestation?
Let's imagine there are two friends in a car. They have a car accident.
Did they have the same experience? Not at all.
Was it a match to the thoughts of both of them? Absolutely.
Everyone is different, and this example is specific to these people, but in this scenario this is the breakdown:
For the driver, the car accident produced thoughts of lack of control, anger, fear.
For the passenger, the accident produced thoughts of distrust, injustice, lack of control, frustration.
Lack of control, or powerlessness, is a common theme among most people, because you've grown up believing you have to control circumstances in order feel good.
Lack of control is a powerless thought that is at the bottom of the Vibrational (emotional) Scale. Powerless thoughts become frequent in your mind when you think you need to control people or circumstances and you can't. Because no one can.
The driver feels angry that the other car didn't obey the traffic signs. But he had been feeling angry about other things for a while.
The driver also feels afraid of the financial burden that will follow, and of his reputation as a driver, and of the opinion of his boss for being late, and of his mate for wrecking the car.
But he had been feeling afraid of financial hardship for a while. And he had been feeling afraid of opinions of others for a while.
Meanwhile, the passenger feels loss of trust in the driver. And loss of trust in other drivers. But he had been feeling distrustful of people and vulnerable for a while. He had no control over this situation, as he feels he has had no control over other situations.
He feels burdened by the injustice of his involvement. But he has been noticing unfairness for a while.
He feels frustration over the delay in getting to work, and the need to wait for help and the need to re-schedule things. But he has been feeling frustrated over many things for a while.
The driver of the other car feels embarrassed and guilty and overwhelmed and afraid. All of which match feelings he has had frequently and consistently.
All situations and circumstances are a perfect match to each and every one of the people involved.
Yup, that leads to a lot of questions about tsunamis and earthquakes and murderers and rapists, and I'll answer them all if you ask.
Did they have the same experience? Not at all.
Was it a match to the thoughts of both of them? Absolutely.
Everyone is different, and this example is specific to these people, but in this scenario this is the breakdown:
For the driver, the car accident produced thoughts of lack of control, anger, fear.
For the passenger, the accident produced thoughts of distrust, injustice, lack of control, frustration.
Lack of control, or powerlessness, is a common theme among most people, because you've grown up believing you have to control circumstances in order feel good.
Lack of control is a powerless thought that is at the bottom of the Vibrational (emotional) Scale. Powerless thoughts become frequent in your mind when you think you need to control people or circumstances and you can't. Because no one can.
The driver feels angry that the other car didn't obey the traffic signs. But he had been feeling angry about other things for a while.
The driver also feels afraid of the financial burden that will follow, and of his reputation as a driver, and of the opinion of his boss for being late, and of his mate for wrecking the car.
But he had been feeling afraid of financial hardship for a while. And he had been feeling afraid of opinions of others for a while.
Meanwhile, the passenger feels loss of trust in the driver. And loss of trust in other drivers. But he had been feeling distrustful of people and vulnerable for a while. He had no control over this situation, as he feels he has had no control over other situations.
He feels burdened by the injustice of his involvement. But he has been noticing unfairness for a while.
He feels frustration over the delay in getting to work, and the need to wait for help and the need to re-schedule things. But he has been feeling frustrated over many things for a while.
The driver of the other car feels embarrassed and guilty and overwhelmed and afraid. All of which match feelings he has had frequently and consistently.
All situations and circumstances are a perfect match to each and every one of the people involved.
Yup, that leads to a lot of questions about tsunamis and earthquakes and murderers and rapists, and I'll answer them all if you ask.
Fine Tuning
When you first start practicing directing your thoughts on purpose, and therefore feeling good on purpose, a lot of wonderful things happen.
First, you feel really good. That feels amazing, and everything seems beautiful and easier and more fun.
Then, it's as if there were awesome things piled up behind a door and you opened the door.
People are nice, traffic disappears, something you wanted suddenly shows up. Again and again, you get to see the manifestation of something you wanted. At first, you don't even realize your change in perspective has anything to do with it. Then as it continues to happen, you realize you are allowing all these things by your new attitude.
After a while, maybe a few months, it's common for manifestations to slow down.
First, because you may have developed a habit of verifying your 'worth' by what you see you have manifested. Then you start to look for manifestations. Looking for something you can't see contains the negative thought of 'it's not here.' Noticing it's not here brings more 'not here' It also contains a negative thought of, 'I'm not doing it right', or 'I haven't earned, or learned it yet.' Self-criticism is the most insidious block to positive manifestations.
Second, the negative thoughts you now have are much more subtle.
As you clean up and discard and replace negative thoughts and beliefs about various subjects, you inevitably leave behind smaller and smaller remnants of those negative thoughts. Cleaning up, or replacing, those remnants is called 'fine tuning.'
It's harder to notice subtle negative thoughts. But once you notice them you realize you think those types of thoughts 10 or 15 or 20 times per day.
The easiest and most reliable way to realize what subtle negative thoughts you have been thinking is in your dreams.
When you wake up, stop and think, "What did I dream?"
Then "How did the dream feel?"
Dreams are the absolutely most accurate indicators of how you have been feeling the previous day (or days).
The content or characters or weirdness of the dream makes no difference; it's how the dream felt that is the key.
If the dream felt fun and adventurous, you're on the right track; keep it up!
If the dream felt scary or embarrassing or overwhelming or frustrating or angry, etc, you know very precisely what you have been feeling recently. Ask yourself what in your life has produced those feelings, but in a subtler way? By that line of questioning, you can deduce what you have been thinking.
Then you can do a Focus Wheel about the subject, or use the Take the Bounce tool.
If you're unaccustomed to remembering dreams, tell yourself before you go to sleep that you intend to remember your dreams.
Another way to identify subtle negative thoughts is by noticing negative manifestations.
When anything negative happens, it is an accurate depiction of what you have been thinking.
Every single thing that manifests in your life is an indicator of, and an emotional match to,what you have been thinking.
If someone yells at you, if you stub your toe, if you get a medical malady.... or if your kid suddenly hugs you, or someone does something nice for you, or you meet someone at just the right time.... Each one of those things is a manifestation, and an indicator of what you have been thinking.
Once you identify that you have been having negative thoughts you can stop them by acknowledging the bogus nature of the thought. And ALL negative thoughts are bogus. Really. (See Ask And It Is Given, or any of the other titles in the reading list).
Three days ago I awoke to feelings of bliss and adventure and fun. My snorkeling dreams had been so vivid and clear it took some time to realize I hadn't actually been snorkeling that night. I celebrated the track of my precious day's thoughts!
The following morning I awoke to feelings of embarrassment. Vivid dreams of being arrested were fresh in my mind. I then did a little casting back to see what I may have been feeling embarrassed about. A small army of random, tiny, insidious, shameful thoughts that I had had recently became clear to me.
I wrote them all down. I then Took The Bounce on the first one. It was easy to drum up thoughts that felt the opposite of embarrassment; of confidence and pride and competence and security. Then I looked at the rest of the list and it all suddenly sounded ridiculous, which meant I no longer believed those old statements from my new point of view. Perfect. That's how you shift subtle thoughts.
Then last night I had dreams of fun social situations that felt like love and happiness and joy. That means that I successfully 'cleaned up' the subtle negative thoughts I had from the days before.
That's how it works. It never gets done and it gets more and more subtle.
You may never stop 'cleaning up' negative thoughts, but that's okay. That's what you're here for.
First, you feel really good. That feels amazing, and everything seems beautiful and easier and more fun.
Then, it's as if there were awesome things piled up behind a door and you opened the door.
People are nice, traffic disappears, something you wanted suddenly shows up. Again and again, you get to see the manifestation of something you wanted. At first, you don't even realize your change in perspective has anything to do with it. Then as it continues to happen, you realize you are allowing all these things by your new attitude.
After a while, maybe a few months, it's common for manifestations to slow down.
First, because you may have developed a habit of verifying your 'worth' by what you see you have manifested. Then you start to look for manifestations. Looking for something you can't see contains the negative thought of 'it's not here.' Noticing it's not here brings more 'not here' It also contains a negative thought of, 'I'm not doing it right', or 'I haven't earned, or learned it yet.' Self-criticism is the most insidious block to positive manifestations.
Second, the negative thoughts you now have are much more subtle.
As you clean up and discard and replace negative thoughts and beliefs about various subjects, you inevitably leave behind smaller and smaller remnants of those negative thoughts. Cleaning up, or replacing, those remnants is called 'fine tuning.'
It's harder to notice subtle negative thoughts. But once you notice them you realize you think those types of thoughts 10 or 15 or 20 times per day.
The easiest and most reliable way to realize what subtle negative thoughts you have been thinking is in your dreams.
When you wake up, stop and think, "What did I dream?"
Then "How did the dream feel?"
Dreams are the absolutely most accurate indicators of how you have been feeling the previous day (or days).
The content or characters or weirdness of the dream makes no difference; it's how the dream felt that is the key.
If the dream felt fun and adventurous, you're on the right track; keep it up!
If the dream felt scary or embarrassing or overwhelming or frustrating or angry, etc, you know very precisely what you have been feeling recently. Ask yourself what in your life has produced those feelings, but in a subtler way? By that line of questioning, you can deduce what you have been thinking.
Then you can do a Focus Wheel about the subject, or use the Take the Bounce tool.
If you're unaccustomed to remembering dreams, tell yourself before you go to sleep that you intend to remember your dreams.
Another way to identify subtle negative thoughts is by noticing negative manifestations.
When anything negative happens, it is an accurate depiction of what you have been thinking.
Every single thing that manifests in your life is an indicator of, and an emotional match to,what you have been thinking.
If someone yells at you, if you stub your toe, if you get a medical malady.... or if your kid suddenly hugs you, or someone does something nice for you, or you meet someone at just the right time.... Each one of those things is a manifestation, and an indicator of what you have been thinking.
Once you identify that you have been having negative thoughts you can stop them by acknowledging the bogus nature of the thought. And ALL negative thoughts are bogus. Really. (See Ask And It Is Given, or any of the other titles in the reading list).
Three days ago I awoke to feelings of bliss and adventure and fun. My snorkeling dreams had been so vivid and clear it took some time to realize I hadn't actually been snorkeling that night. I celebrated the track of my precious day's thoughts!
The following morning I awoke to feelings of embarrassment. Vivid dreams of being arrested were fresh in my mind. I then did a little casting back to see what I may have been feeling embarrassed about. A small army of random, tiny, insidious, shameful thoughts that I had had recently became clear to me.
I wrote them all down. I then Took The Bounce on the first one. It was easy to drum up thoughts that felt the opposite of embarrassment; of confidence and pride and competence and security. Then I looked at the rest of the list and it all suddenly sounded ridiculous, which meant I no longer believed those old statements from my new point of view. Perfect. That's how you shift subtle thoughts.
Then last night I had dreams of fun social situations that felt like love and happiness and joy. That means that I successfully 'cleaned up' the subtle negative thoughts I had from the days before.
That's how it works. It never gets done and it gets more and more subtle.
You may never stop 'cleaning up' negative thoughts, but that's okay. That's what you're here for.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Too Many Thoughts To Keep Track Of?
You get what you think about, but there are so many thoughts! How on earth do you try to manage thoughts?
Easy. You pay attention to how you feel. Every thought has a feeling response. If you decide you want to feel as good as you can, you begin to notice when you don't feel good.
When you don't feel good, and you don't know why, just ask yourself what you were just thinking about.
When you know that you can intentionally redirect your thoughts, it follows that you can feel better any time you want.
As time goes by in our lives, we get used to frequently feeling grumpy or irritated or overwhelmed or indignant, or worried. Or you feel worried for someone else, or concerned about the weather or the ecology or the economy or what the government is doing.
As socialized humans, we believe we're supposed to worry and plan and work hard and control stuff around us.
You ask: Isn't taking attention away from unwanted things tantamount to burying our heads in the sand?
It would be if the universe were not vibrational in nature. It's easy to believe that all there is is what you see, and the only way to accomplish things is by physically doing things.
But you know there is far more than what you can see. You can't see atoms, but you know they're there. You can't smell the footprint your dog can smell, but you know it is there.
The truth is, everything is vibration and Law of Attraction is drawing together like vibrations every minute, without exception.
You get what you think about. So the more you think about what you don't want, the more the universe brings thoughts and situations that match.
Meaning, if you're spending a lot of time thinking about not enough... money or time or love or freedom, you encounter more situations that make you feel overwhelmed and lacking.
If you're thinking a lot about injustice, you see and encounter many situations that seem unfair.
If you are thinking a lot about war, the universe won't necessarily bring you war, but it will bring you situations that feel vulnerable and scary and victimizing.
When I say "a lot" of time, most people don't realize how much cumulative time they spend throughout the day thinking negative thoughts. It's habit.
So back to the easy solution. Decide you want to feel good. Decide that feeling good is the most important thing. Because once you feel good, not only do you get to feel good, but everything you want is then drawn to you. No kidding.
See the Tools section and the 3 posts called How... for tips. And more to follow.
Easy. You pay attention to how you feel. Every thought has a feeling response. If you decide you want to feel as good as you can, you begin to notice when you don't feel good.
When you don't feel good, and you don't know why, just ask yourself what you were just thinking about.
When you know that you can intentionally redirect your thoughts, it follows that you can feel better any time you want.
As time goes by in our lives, we get used to frequently feeling grumpy or irritated or overwhelmed or indignant, or worried. Or you feel worried for someone else, or concerned about the weather or the ecology or the economy or what the government is doing.
As socialized humans, we believe we're supposed to worry and plan and work hard and control stuff around us.
You ask: Isn't taking attention away from unwanted things tantamount to burying our heads in the sand?
It would be if the universe were not vibrational in nature. It's easy to believe that all there is is what you see, and the only way to accomplish things is by physically doing things.
But you know there is far more than what you can see. You can't see atoms, but you know they're there. You can't smell the footprint your dog can smell, but you know it is there.
The truth is, everything is vibration and Law of Attraction is drawing together like vibrations every minute, without exception.
You get what you think about. So the more you think about what you don't want, the more the universe brings thoughts and situations that match.
Meaning, if you're spending a lot of time thinking about not enough... money or time or love or freedom, you encounter more situations that make you feel overwhelmed and lacking.
If you're thinking a lot about injustice, you see and encounter many situations that seem unfair.
If you are thinking a lot about war, the universe won't necessarily bring you war, but it will bring you situations that feel vulnerable and scary and victimizing.
When I say "a lot" of time, most people don't realize how much cumulative time they spend throughout the day thinking negative thoughts. It's habit.
So back to the easy solution. Decide you want to feel good. Decide that feeling good is the most important thing. Because once you feel good, not only do you get to feel good, but everything you want is then drawn to you. No kidding.
See the Tools section and the 3 posts called How... for tips. And more to follow.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
When Desire Meets Expectation
The only reason you want anything is because you believe in the having of it, you will feel better.
When you desire something you think you can't have, it doesn't feel good.
When you desire something you believe you can have, even if you don't know how it will get here, or when.... it feels wonderful. If you believe it is inevitable, the thought of that thing you want is uplifting, life-giving, exciting. You don't have to have the thing you want in front of you in order to feel the exhilaration of having it because the act of visualizing it, thinking about how it feels to have it, feels sublime. And feeling good is the reason you wanted it in the first place.
When you achieve the thrill of having something you do not yet have, but you believe it is yours, that desire becomes Expectation. And then it becomes inevitably yours.
You cannot Expect something and not receive it. If you truly expect it, and you don't doubt it, nor do you need it in order to feel good, it will show up.
However, the word Expectation is tricky. The word implies something that will happen in the future.
I remember getting myself caught up in the expectation of seeing mule deer on my hikes. (This is related to an earlier blog). I had a strong desire to see them, and I had 'expectation' but I had three things preventing it from happening.
1. I thought seeing deer would make me feel better. I didn't feel bad, but I believed seeing the deer would verify my ability to manifest what I wanted. (I needed to see them because it would justify my 'skill' and therefore my 'worthiness') Plus, seeing deer would be thrilling.
2. I looked for deer, so my thoughts were primarily noting how they were not there. As long as I was noticing the absence of them, I attracted more of the same. Not only were they not here now, I had not seen any for years.
3. I believed I would see them, meaning it WILL happen (in some future time, because it's not right now) That is "expectation" laced with "not right now," which means it will always happen at some future time, not now.
The way to get rid of the "not right now" is to make peace with what is.
I decided to stop looking for deer. It began to not feel good to "fail" at the task of achieving that strong desire. By the way, it was a strong desire because I had always been thrilled at close encounters with wild animals, and because I had added the element of testing my worthiness to it.
I decided to enjoy the hikes for other reasons, and to lose the bogus thought of earning my worthiness through my accomplishments.
The very night I made that realization was the night I saw a mule deer on a sitcom on TV. Suddenly I had a real, resistance-free expectation of seeing them. Because I had let go of the need to see them, I suddenly saw one (on TV).
The next day not only did I see mule deer, they were there to interact with me. They stood within 20 feet of me, looking intently at me and my dog for 10 minutes while I 'talked' to them with massive appreciation for them.
Every day thereafter, no matter where I hiked, I had deer interacting with me. (like the hawks from a previous post). Once you experience something, the expectation becomes even stronger.
One day while hiking I was talking out loud to myself about how wonderful it is to feel so good. I was saying the skies are bluer, and trees are greener, people are funnier, I get to play with deer... Just then I rounded a corner and was startled by three deer standing there. They were so close I could see their eyelashes. They had obviously heard me coming, because I had been making a racket! They stood there waiting for me. After I arrived, I 'talked' to them in my mind for a long time. After a while, one of them made a gesture with her head that looked like an invitation to my dog. He took her up on it and the chase was on! At first I was concerned about my dog scaring them, but immediately realized how much fun it seemed to be for all of them. They knew he couldn't catch them, and he didn't care.
One day I saw a pair of does 50 feet way. They stood still and looked at me. I continued to walk toward them for 10 feet. One of them took a step to retreat. I immediately stopped, and she stopped. She then started to walk toward me for another 10 feet, stopped and looked at me while I talked to her. She and her friend stood relaxed for many minutes. They eventually decided to boing away, with my dog chasing after them. As soon as the dog tired from the chase, they stopped to look at us some more.
Another day I was imagining a happy conversation with some mountain-bikers about deer. I asked them if they ever saw them and they said no. I said to them that "I have to practically push them out of the way." In my mind I imagined gesturing with my arm to push them aside. At that moment a deer came running toward me and when he came within a few feet, abruptly turned left, as if I had to sweep him to the side. (sounds silly, but it really cracked me up!)
Another day I came upon two bucks wrestling with their antlers. They stopped sparring to look at me. For a long time.
Another day I was thinking about a manifestation I wanted that hadn't appeared yet. I had an epiphany; "Oh, It's just like Looking for Deer!" (being aware of the absence of something)
At that very moment, a deer jumped out of nowhere onto the trail in front of me. She stood there while I 'talked' to her silently . She stood sideways, so I could see that after every time I 'spoke,' she wiggled her tail! After she left, I thought, "We'll see her again later on the trail." Ten minutes later, there she was, waiting on the trail.
Prior to seeing any deer, I had had very strong desire, but lots of resistant thought. Once I dropped the resistant thoughts, by making peace with 'what is', Law of Attraction showed me a deer on TV and my expectation became real; not limited by thoughts of 'future' or 'worthiness' or 'absence,'
When you desire something you think you can't have, it doesn't feel good.
When you desire something you believe you can have, even if you don't know how it will get here, or when.... it feels wonderful. If you believe it is inevitable, the thought of that thing you want is uplifting, life-giving, exciting. You don't have to have the thing you want in front of you in order to feel the exhilaration of having it because the act of visualizing it, thinking about how it feels to have it, feels sublime. And feeling good is the reason you wanted it in the first place.
When you achieve the thrill of having something you do not yet have, but you believe it is yours, that desire becomes Expectation. And then it becomes inevitably yours.
You cannot Expect something and not receive it. If you truly expect it, and you don't doubt it, nor do you need it in order to feel good, it will show up.
However, the word Expectation is tricky. The word implies something that will happen in the future.
I remember getting myself caught up in the expectation of seeing mule deer on my hikes. (This is related to an earlier blog). I had a strong desire to see them, and I had 'expectation' but I had three things preventing it from happening.
1. I thought seeing deer would make me feel better. I didn't feel bad, but I believed seeing the deer would verify my ability to manifest what I wanted. (I needed to see them because it would justify my 'skill' and therefore my 'worthiness') Plus, seeing deer would be thrilling.
2. I looked for deer, so my thoughts were primarily noting how they were not there. As long as I was noticing the absence of them, I attracted more of the same. Not only were they not here now, I had not seen any for years.
3. I believed I would see them, meaning it WILL happen (in some future time, because it's not right now) That is "expectation" laced with "not right now," which means it will always happen at some future time, not now.
The way to get rid of the "not right now" is to make peace with what is.
I decided to stop looking for deer. It began to not feel good to "fail" at the task of achieving that strong desire. By the way, it was a strong desire because I had always been thrilled at close encounters with wild animals, and because I had added the element of testing my worthiness to it.
I decided to enjoy the hikes for other reasons, and to lose the bogus thought of earning my worthiness through my accomplishments.
The very night I made that realization was the night I saw a mule deer on a sitcom on TV. Suddenly I had a real, resistance-free expectation of seeing them. Because I had let go of the need to see them, I suddenly saw one (on TV).
The next day not only did I see mule deer, they were there to interact with me. They stood within 20 feet of me, looking intently at me and my dog for 10 minutes while I 'talked' to them with massive appreciation for them.
Every day thereafter, no matter where I hiked, I had deer interacting with me. (like the hawks from a previous post). Once you experience something, the expectation becomes even stronger.
One day while hiking I was talking out loud to myself about how wonderful it is to feel so good. I was saying the skies are bluer, and trees are greener, people are funnier, I get to play with deer... Just then I rounded a corner and was startled by three deer standing there. They were so close I could see their eyelashes. They had obviously heard me coming, because I had been making a racket! They stood there waiting for me. After I arrived, I 'talked' to them in my mind for a long time. After a while, one of them made a gesture with her head that looked like an invitation to my dog. He took her up on it and the chase was on! At first I was concerned about my dog scaring them, but immediately realized how much fun it seemed to be for all of them. They knew he couldn't catch them, and he didn't care.
One day I saw a pair of does 50 feet way. They stood still and looked at me. I continued to walk toward them for 10 feet. One of them took a step to retreat. I immediately stopped, and she stopped. She then started to walk toward me for another 10 feet, stopped and looked at me while I talked to her. She and her friend stood relaxed for many minutes. They eventually decided to boing away, with my dog chasing after them. As soon as the dog tired from the chase, they stopped to look at us some more.
Another day I was imagining a happy conversation with some mountain-bikers about deer. I asked them if they ever saw them and they said no. I said to them that "I have to practically push them out of the way." In my mind I imagined gesturing with my arm to push them aside. At that moment a deer came running toward me and when he came within a few feet, abruptly turned left, as if I had to sweep him to the side. (sounds silly, but it really cracked me up!)
Another day I came upon two bucks wrestling with their antlers. They stopped sparring to look at me. For a long time.
Another day I was thinking about a manifestation I wanted that hadn't appeared yet. I had an epiphany; "Oh, It's just like Looking for Deer!" (being aware of the absence of something)
At that very moment, a deer jumped out of nowhere onto the trail in front of me. She stood there while I 'talked' to her silently . She stood sideways, so I could see that after every time I 'spoke,' she wiggled her tail! After she left, I thought, "We'll see her again later on the trail." Ten minutes later, there she was, waiting on the trail.
Prior to seeing any deer, I had had very strong desire, but lots of resistant thought. Once I dropped the resistant thoughts, by making peace with 'what is', Law of Attraction showed me a deer on TV and my expectation became real; not limited by thoughts of 'future' or 'worthiness' or 'absence,'
Thursday, September 8, 2011
The Wisdom of Kids
Kids are born knowing their intrinsic value and unshakable self-worth.
Society then teaches them that they are not worthy until they earn it; through good behavior, good grades, cooperation with rules, and making others happy,.... then later... their looks, their ability to make money, their social skills, etc, etc.
Today I asked our 9-year-old son how his day was at school.
He said, "My day was fine. The teacher had a horrible day."
I cold not have been more proud of him than I was at that moment.
He went on to explain that the teacher started the day not feeling good (meaning he was in a bad mood), then he felt a little better toward the middle of the day, then he felt worse at the end of the day. During the spells of not feeling good, the teacher scolded students, including our son, about their various shortcomings.
My kids have been taught, and shown by example, that when people don't feel good, they tend to look for reasons, and people, to blame for not feeling good. It has nothing to do with the reason the person chooses, and it is not personal.
Since our son had seen the phenomenon with his parents and with his brothers and with himself, he knew it was true. So when his teacher yelled at him for a minor infraction, he did not take it personally and was able to stay in a good mood himself.
He hears what the teacher wants, and is willing to oblige, and he then does those things out of the inspiration of accomplishing the task, not to please the teacher or to make the teacher feel better, or to make the teacher like him, or to earn the grade.
There are not enough ways you can stand on your head to make someone else happy. They have to do it on their own. Attend to your own good mood, and watch what happens.
Society then teaches them that they are not worthy until they earn it; through good behavior, good grades, cooperation with rules, and making others happy,.... then later... their looks, their ability to make money, their social skills, etc, etc.
Today I asked our 9-year-old son how his day was at school.
He said, "My day was fine. The teacher had a horrible day."
I cold not have been more proud of him than I was at that moment.
He went on to explain that the teacher started the day not feeling good (meaning he was in a bad mood), then he felt a little better toward the middle of the day, then he felt worse at the end of the day. During the spells of not feeling good, the teacher scolded students, including our son, about their various shortcomings.
My kids have been taught, and shown by example, that when people don't feel good, they tend to look for reasons, and people, to blame for not feeling good. It has nothing to do with the reason the person chooses, and it is not personal.
Since our son had seen the phenomenon with his parents and with his brothers and with himself, he knew it was true. So when his teacher yelled at him for a minor infraction, he did not take it personally and was able to stay in a good mood himself.
He hears what the teacher wants, and is willing to oblige, and he then does those things out of the inspiration of accomplishing the task, not to please the teacher or to make the teacher feel better, or to make the teacher like him, or to earn the grade.
There are not enough ways you can stand on your head to make someone else happy. They have to do it on their own. Attend to your own good mood, and watch what happens.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Unconditional Love
Unconditional love is: not needing a condition to change in order to feel love (which is who you really are: a person who loves).
If you were to say to your mate: "You are not responsible for my happiness. I am."
That's unconditional love.
If you were to say to your kids: "You don't have to (behave in a certain way) for me to feel better." That is unconditional love.
Consequently, what happens when kids (and mates) feel unconditional love is a magical demonstration of who they really are: Loving, kind, thoughtful, cooperative, eager to please (and to love), and also you get to see the uninhibited releasing of their unique intelligence (not regurgitated learning) that adds to the world. (see my examples in other posts).
They behave that way not to please you, but because it feels good to be that way.
What if your mate did something that made you uncomfortable (or sad or mad or afraid)? Is it your job to talk your mate into changing his behavior? Nope. That's conditional love. ("I need this condition to change in order for me to feel better") See Law of Attraction and Tools.
When you are responsible for your own happiness, and you understand that happiness is based simply on what you think, you can let go of controlling anyone else's behavior (because you have no control over it anyway) and you can let go of needing approval from anyone else (because their approval is fickle and arbitrary in that it is given only when they feel good about themselves, which may be fleeting...).
1.What if you believed in your own current and future well-being? (because it is assured. See the Reading List)
2.What if you believed in a perfect relationship for yourself? (because you've created what you want, See Ask and It Is Given in the Reading List)
3.What if you believed in your kids' well-being? (because they have created what they want. (see above)
We've been taught to believe that relationship means 'sacrifice' and 'compromise,'
and kids mean 'control,' and 'teaching', and 'protection from harm,' and 'sacrifice'.
If you are willing to question all those beliefs, here is what happens:
Relationship is not limiting each other, nor making each other whole, rather, you benefit each other. Loving unconditionally means each person gets to be who they really are:
You don't give up your opinion, you don't give up your preferences, you don't give up your free time.
Ironically, the awareness of having unlimited freedom makes you feel utterly free to give your time freely.
When you approach 'relationship' with the understanding that you are each responsible for your own happiness, you free each other to be completely who you really are, without 'sacrifice'.
When you are with someone who feels free to be his or her self, someone who puts her own happiness first, he or she is exciting and fun and inspiring to be with. She is loving and kind and generous and feels good about herself. And about you.
Someone who is free to be herself does not do things out of obligation, or to make someone else feel better. She does things out of love and inspiration. Someone who feels good about herself knows that others are perfectly capable of making themselves feel better, and she inspires them to do so.
When you approach child rearing as a learning experience, rather than a teaching experience, it changes the whole dynamic.
The kid you have is a perfect match to what you need to learn.
Also, when you give your child freedom; to explore, to do things at his own pace, to 'buck the system,' he becomes the easy catalyst to new, unexpected, amazing experiences that benefit you and him and everyone around him.
That's unconditional love.
If you were to say to your mate: "You are not responsible for my happiness. I am."
That's unconditional love.
If you were to say to your kids: "You don't have to (behave in a certain way) for me to feel better." That is unconditional love.
Consequently, what happens when kids (and mates) feel unconditional love is a magical demonstration of who they really are: Loving, kind, thoughtful, cooperative, eager to please (and to love), and also you get to see the uninhibited releasing of their unique intelligence (not regurgitated learning) that adds to the world. (see my examples in other posts).
They behave that way not to please you, but because it feels good to be that way.
What if your mate did something that made you uncomfortable (or sad or mad or afraid)? Is it your job to talk your mate into changing his behavior? Nope. That's conditional love. ("I need this condition to change in order for me to feel better") See Law of Attraction and Tools.
When you are responsible for your own happiness, and you understand that happiness is based simply on what you think, you can let go of controlling anyone else's behavior (because you have no control over it anyway) and you can let go of needing approval from anyone else (because their approval is fickle and arbitrary in that it is given only when they feel good about themselves, which may be fleeting...).
1.What if you believed in your own current and future well-being? (because it is assured. See the Reading List)
2.What if you believed in a perfect relationship for yourself? (because you've created what you want, See Ask and It Is Given in the Reading List)
3.What if you believed in your kids' well-being? (because they have created what they want. (see above)
We've been taught to believe that relationship means 'sacrifice' and 'compromise,'
and kids mean 'control,' and 'teaching', and 'protection from harm,' and 'sacrifice'.
If you are willing to question all those beliefs, here is what happens:
Relationship is not limiting each other, nor making each other whole, rather, you benefit each other. Loving unconditionally means each person gets to be who they really are:
You don't give up your opinion, you don't give up your preferences, you don't give up your free time.
Ironically, the awareness of having unlimited freedom makes you feel utterly free to give your time freely.
When you approach 'relationship' with the understanding that you are each responsible for your own happiness, you free each other to be completely who you really are, without 'sacrifice'.
When you are with someone who feels free to be his or her self, someone who puts her own happiness first, he or she is exciting and fun and inspiring to be with. She is loving and kind and generous and feels good about herself. And about you.
Someone who is free to be herself does not do things out of obligation, or to make someone else feel better. She does things out of love and inspiration. Someone who feels good about herself knows that others are perfectly capable of making themselves feel better, and she inspires them to do so.
When you approach child rearing as a learning experience, rather than a teaching experience, it changes the whole dynamic.
The kid you have is a perfect match to what you need to learn.
Also, when you give your child freedom; to explore, to do things at his own pace, to 'buck the system,' he becomes the easy catalyst to new, unexpected, amazing experiences that benefit you and him and everyone around him.
That's unconditional love.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Thought as Vibration
I've ridden and owned horses almost all my life. The following experiences are nothing like anything I had ever had. I'm not making any of this up!
One day last year I was hiking in a wash (dry river bed) feeling such a sense of well-being; it felt like love and appreciation for everything; my life, the weather, the wash, the plants... I was also aware and appreciative of the fact that feeling so high was a skill I had learned.
I noticed a beautiful fenced property on a hill, and then noticed a horse on the far end of the pasture, (about 300 yards away) who was gazing into the distance. I thought, "What a beautiful horse you are. It looks like you're loving this weather too."
Just then, he swung around to face me as if I had poked him in the butt. He then trotted over to the boundary of the fence closest to me and stared at me.
I thought, "I don't know why he's so interested in a human. He sees humans all the time. He's acting as if I'm a goat or something."
I continued to talk to him in my mind while he stood stock still, looking at me. Eventually I said "see ya later," intending to move on, and the horse nodded his head.
I walked farther on and saw a barn in the distance, with a horse's rear visible from one of the stalls. I stopped and thought, "Hello, beautiful." As soon as I thought it, the horse spun around, again, as if poked in the butt.. Wow!
...and he came to the boundary of his enclosure to stare at me while I talked to him in my mind.
During this 'conversation,' another horse came trotting around, in obvious curiosity, from the other side of the barn and got as close to the boundary of his enclosure to stand and stare at me.
I was blown away by this. There was no reason for the 2nd horse to come, other than his awareness of our silent conversation.
After a while of rapt attention from them, I said "see ya" in my mind, intending to leave, and they both nodded. By this point I thought I must be delirious.
I saw another horse in a pasture on a hill, and because I was down in the wash I could only see the top of his back. I stopped and said hello, without any sound, and he jerked his head up. I realized he had had his head in a feed bucket. He abandoned his dinner to come trotting to the fence boundary to see me. Really? What is going on?
Another pasture farther along (apparently a very popular ranch area!) up on the hill was another horse. I could only see the top of his head and ears. I assumed the pasture dipped down where he was standing. I stopped to admire him too. He immediately got up (he had been lying down) to come to the fence line to see me. WTF?
By then I was beside myself with the extraordinariness of all this!
Just then I put my headphones in to listen to a new Abraham-Hicks tape, who's topics are about every subject you can think of....The conversation was about how animals can 'hear' your thoughts when you are on the same frequency they are. The discussion was about horses.
One day last year I was hiking in a wash (dry river bed) feeling such a sense of well-being; it felt like love and appreciation for everything; my life, the weather, the wash, the plants... I was also aware and appreciative of the fact that feeling so high was a skill I had learned.
I noticed a beautiful fenced property on a hill, and then noticed a horse on the far end of the pasture, (about 300 yards away) who was gazing into the distance. I thought, "What a beautiful horse you are. It looks like you're loving this weather too."
Just then, he swung around to face me as if I had poked him in the butt. He then trotted over to the boundary of the fence closest to me and stared at me.
I thought, "I don't know why he's so interested in a human. He sees humans all the time. He's acting as if I'm a goat or something."
I continued to talk to him in my mind while he stood stock still, looking at me. Eventually I said "see ya later," intending to move on, and the horse nodded his head.
I walked farther on and saw a barn in the distance, with a horse's rear visible from one of the stalls. I stopped and thought, "Hello, beautiful." As soon as I thought it, the horse spun around, again, as if poked in the butt.. Wow!
...and he came to the boundary of his enclosure to stare at me while I talked to him in my mind.
During this 'conversation,' another horse came trotting around, in obvious curiosity, from the other side of the barn and got as close to the boundary of his enclosure to stand and stare at me.
I was blown away by this. There was no reason for the 2nd horse to come, other than his awareness of our silent conversation.
After a while of rapt attention from them, I said "see ya" in my mind, intending to leave, and they both nodded. By this point I thought I must be delirious.
I saw another horse in a pasture on a hill, and because I was down in the wash I could only see the top of his back. I stopped and said hello, without any sound, and he jerked his head up. I realized he had had his head in a feed bucket. He abandoned his dinner to come trotting to the fence boundary to see me. Really? What is going on?
Another pasture farther along (apparently a very popular ranch area!) up on the hill was another horse. I could only see the top of his head and ears. I assumed the pasture dipped down where he was standing. I stopped to admire him too. He immediately got up (he had been lying down) to come to the fence line to see me. WTF?
By then I was beside myself with the extraordinariness of all this!
Just then I put my headphones in to listen to a new Abraham-Hicks tape, who's topics are about every subject you can think of....The conversation was about how animals can 'hear' your thoughts when you are on the same frequency they are. The discussion was about horses.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Using the Taking The Bounce Tool
One day I awoke to feelings of unworthiness. (Which meant I went to sleep with feelings of unworthiness)
The most insidious things that produce feelings of unworthiness are the simple, little, repetitive criticisms of myself. Something I think I didn't do right, or something I regret, or something I wish I had done...
We're all taught to believe our worth is dependant upon what we do, whom we please, what we earn, what we accomplish, how we look, what we contribute.... the list is endless.
None of that has anything to do with our value. We are born worthy. It is not earned, it is not negotiable, it is not comparable to others, it is not judgable, it is not a commodity.
I went for a hike with my dog while feeling the need to hike for the dog's sake; to do my duty as a dog-owner. I did not feel good.
The dog chased a passing car (which he never does) and I got instantly angry and embarrassed.
I realized that that action (the dog chasing the car, and my strong emotional response) was an indicator of my state of mind and the dog was doing me a favor by demonstrating it.
BTW, dogs (and children) are perfect mirrors of what we are feeling. Watch any episode of 'The Dog Whisperer' and see it in action.
I realized I could use the Taking The Bounce tool.
How did I feel? Mostly embarrassed. (closely tied to unworthy)
What is the opposite feeling word? Proud.
I thought and repeated the word proud for a while. My mind then produced, without effort, memories of times I felt proud and reasons to feel proud.
I felt soooo much better.
Then the people in the cars started waving.
Every car and every pedestrian I passed for the next 40 minutes waved, or said hello, or started a happy conversation with me. It made me feel proud.
The most insidious things that produce feelings of unworthiness are the simple, little, repetitive criticisms of myself. Something I think I didn't do right, or something I regret, or something I wish I had done...
We're all taught to believe our worth is dependant upon what we do, whom we please, what we earn, what we accomplish, how we look, what we contribute.... the list is endless.
None of that has anything to do with our value. We are born worthy. It is not earned, it is not negotiable, it is not comparable to others, it is not judgable, it is not a commodity.
I went for a hike with my dog while feeling the need to hike for the dog's sake; to do my duty as a dog-owner. I did not feel good.
The dog chased a passing car (which he never does) and I got instantly angry and embarrassed.
I realized that that action (the dog chasing the car, and my strong emotional response) was an indicator of my state of mind and the dog was doing me a favor by demonstrating it.
BTW, dogs (and children) are perfect mirrors of what we are feeling. Watch any episode of 'The Dog Whisperer' and see it in action.
I realized I could use the Taking The Bounce tool.
How did I feel? Mostly embarrassed. (closely tied to unworthy)
What is the opposite feeling word? Proud.
I thought and repeated the word proud for a while. My mind then produced, without effort, memories of times I felt proud and reasons to feel proud.
I felt soooo much better.
Then the people in the cars started waving.
Every car and every pedestrian I passed for the next 40 minutes waved, or said hello, or started a happy conversation with me. It made me feel proud.
All Mainfestations Are Indicators
Everything that occurs in your life; the interactions you have, the circumstances that arise, the bodily conditions, are all indicators of how you have been feeling.
If you have a negative manifestation; a pain, an injury, an accident, an irritation, an illness, a misbehaving dog, an ant infestation, an angry confrontation, a lost job, etc, be aware that you have had chronic negative thoughts that match the resulting manifestation.
If you've been unaware of what you've been thinking, you can deduce the chain of events by asking yourself: "How does this manifestation feel?"
For example:
If it feels irritating, you've been having irritated thoughts.
If it feels unjust, you've been thinking that things are unfair.
If it feels limiting, you've been thinking you are being held back in some way.
If it feels scary, you've been thinking insecure or powerless thoughts.
If it feels overwhelming, you've been thinking you do not have enough (time or money or energy, or resources)
All positive manifestations; kind people, green traffic lights, money coming in, happy synchronicities, easy transactions, disappearance of physical pain, the perfect mate appearing, funny happenstances, the perfect job coming to you, dreams being fulfilled effortlessly, etc, are all indicators of your habits of appreciation, love, eagerness, satisfaction or belief in your well-being.
Most people, when they don't know they have control over their thoughts, experience a vast mixture of good and bad manifestations. It seems so random and uncontrollable. But when you think thoughts based only on what you observe, not what you choose to focus on, the results are good, bad, bad, bad, good, bad...
When you notice a positive manifestation, savor it. Think about it, remember it, relish it. Doing that will solidify the vibration of living "in the vortex."
When you notice a negative manifestation, notice what it feels like, notice the association with what you have been thinking lately, and decide to change your mind about it.
Make yourself feel better about it. (Do a Focus Wheel or do the Moving Up The Vibrational Scale exercise, or the advanced version, Taking The Bounce, all described in the Tools section)
Negative manifestations are indicators and nothing more. You can have every deadly disease known to mankind and turn it around by deciding you can feel better by simply changing what you think. Those are called "miracles."
If you have a negative manifestation; a pain, an injury, an accident, an irritation, an illness, a misbehaving dog, an ant infestation, an angry confrontation, a lost job, etc, be aware that you have had chronic negative thoughts that match the resulting manifestation.
If you've been unaware of what you've been thinking, you can deduce the chain of events by asking yourself: "How does this manifestation feel?"
For example:
If it feels irritating, you've been having irritated thoughts.
If it feels unjust, you've been thinking that things are unfair.
If it feels limiting, you've been thinking you are being held back in some way.
If it feels scary, you've been thinking insecure or powerless thoughts.
If it feels overwhelming, you've been thinking you do not have enough (time or money or energy, or resources)
All positive manifestations; kind people, green traffic lights, money coming in, happy synchronicities, easy transactions, disappearance of physical pain, the perfect mate appearing, funny happenstances, the perfect job coming to you, dreams being fulfilled effortlessly, etc, are all indicators of your habits of appreciation, love, eagerness, satisfaction or belief in your well-being.
Most people, when they don't know they have control over their thoughts, experience a vast mixture of good and bad manifestations. It seems so random and uncontrollable. But when you think thoughts based only on what you observe, not what you choose to focus on, the results are good, bad, bad, bad, good, bad...
When you notice a positive manifestation, savor it. Think about it, remember it, relish it. Doing that will solidify the vibration of living "in the vortex."
When you notice a negative manifestation, notice what it feels like, notice the association with what you have been thinking lately, and decide to change your mind about it.
Make yourself feel better about it. (Do a Focus Wheel or do the Moving Up The Vibrational Scale exercise, or the advanced version, Taking The Bounce, all described in the Tools section)
Negative manifestations are indicators and nothing more. You can have every deadly disease known to mankind and turn it around by deciding you can feel better by simply changing what you think. Those are called "miracles."
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